AJOURNEY

aku, dulu dan sekolah

2005-08-11T15:18:00.000+08:00

tak taulah dari mane datang nostalgia ni..tibe2 teringat zaman kat skolah dulu...
aku rase sbb idup aku ni cam x brape stabil, krisis identiti btolla...skejap baek, skajap jahat..hahaaa..
knangan kat semesti dulu mmg bnyk gile...yelakan, tempat jatuh bangun..
ade mase best, ade mase x best lgsg, ade mase malu, ade mase bangge...
tapi yg plg x leh lupe ialah knangan 6 jahanam..aku, pa, syiqin, k-rah, syai, azie..
walopon nampak je kitorg ni cam jahat dan suke buat bende2 merepek, pastu slalu plak kene panggil ngan prefect, tapi knangan2 tu smue adlah knangan2 plg beharge yg aku x leh lupe slame2 nye..ingat lagi, tapi yg ni sblom 6 jahanam established la, aku syiqin ngan mas escape riadah pagi, nyorok dlm loker...wahaha, klakau gile..dahla kantoi lak tu, kitorg sekali ngan kakak2 form3 yg escape smue kantoi..adoih, ingat gi muke kak.nani tekejot sbb jumpe kitorg bdk2 form2 skali...terok kene marah...sminggu lps tu kene tegor dgn kak jaysina plak,...naseb die x marah sgt...

oo, lepas tu bkn nak insaf, tapi kali ni smue aktiviti simpan baek2 laa...slalu merepek waktu prep malam...pa lah kawan aku yg sts je sudi nak dgr lawak2 bodoh aku, sbb pa pon same, bnyk gile idea nak buat aku ketawe...sronokkan waktu tu?
dgn azie plak, yg mmg x boleh nak lupe langsong pasal bilik iron...sumpah! mmg aku x tau lampu bilik iron x leh dibukak lps pukol 12 malam....waktu tu form 3...dgn azie dalam bilik iron kol 12.30 lebeh kurg...tibe2 je kak aini oriza dtg tutop lampu pastu marah2....dahle tu x cukop lagi, esok paginye kene panggil plak turon blk prefect..kene marah lagi...woo, sedey woo kene tudoh x respect senior..sejahat2 kitorg, x penah nak tunjuk x hormat kat senior, buat jahat sdr2 la...sumpah x tau lampu blk iron x leh bukak lps 12.30.....

aii....form 3 laa zaman plg rock skali....ntah pape ntah,..asyek merepek je....ingt gi dkt2 nak pmr pegi panjat tangki kol 3 pagi...mase tu cuak jugak..dahle siap ade guard round2 lagi..nased baek x kantoi...wahaha...tapi yg peliknye, mase form 5 tgk bdk2 naek tangki tu waktu siang2 takde pape pon..kate tangki tu kawasan larangan? pape jelah...yg ptg, kitorg pnh la pjt tangki tu kol 3 pagi..pastu tido plak kat bangunan baru LK yg waktu tu belom siap lagi...wahaha...tebongkar gak rasie yg simpan betaun2 nih....naseb dah abis skolah dah...

kengkawan pon ade je yg x suke kat kitorg...kalau pikir2 blk skang, mmg la smue bende2 yg kitorg buat tu bende2 bodoh yg saje je nak cari publisiti murahan..tapi akrabnye pesahabatan waktu tu atr kitorg mmg x de tandingannye..dgn kawan2 rase slamt, rase confident, rase bnyk idea....
tapi jahat2 pon result ok je...aku rase aku jahat pon x penah x dapat top 10 waktu ujian..hehe...maintain..maintain.....result pmr kitorg pon ok pe...inile org kate jahat ilmiah....ataupon jahat yg x brape jahat...

aii...rindunye kat korg semue..walaupon naek form 4 syiqin pindah skolah dan aku lak tgh hadapi krsis waktu tu sampai ade garis pemisah atr kite semue yg aku rase sampai skang x pulih2 lg, tapi pecayelah..aku mmg hargai pngalamn2 dolu2 tu..aku rindu arr kat korg smue...
syiqin skang tgh prepare utk buat medic kat indon, btol tak? pa ngan azie mmg x leh separate dah..dudok la korg kat um tu same2..k-rah kat mmu skang..syai plak skang kat intec, preparation utk ke new zealand...waa....mantapla korg smue nih.....smoge korg smue kuar nanti jadik org bejaye dan smoge knagan2 lampau tu kite ambik iktibar utk jadik insan yg dikasihi Allah s.w.t....nak teros jadik jahat pon x pe..janji agame ngan study jalan....ok.....

hello...

2005-06-02T16:45:00.000+08:00

ello world..
let me see..
last updated 16 march..
phiooh! if this blog was a cupboard, the roof must have been covered with 1 foot dust...
well...
i have lots of reasons of why this blog has not been touched for ages. first of all, i dont have my laptop with me anymore, and even if i have my laptop with me, it will be quite useless since the phone and internet lines in my apartment have been cut.
Taylor's library was another useless thing, blogger has been blocked under porno reason, well, blame those crazy people out there misusing blog for lust! (by the way, desperado-jonny is also blocked for the same reason, mr reza what have you put inside your blog?)
however, these are just some reasons i've been using to run away from the truth..the truth is, i feel that thge more i write here, the more hypocrite i've become.Sometimes when i read back all the previous entries i felt like vomittng...
so, i want to spend times to look back into myself, what i want for myself and not what i want for people to read.
okey....i better off now....

What..?

2005-03-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

Today is quite horrible..Lately, i've gradually lost control of my own life..Yesterday i slept late helping su to finish up our power point slides for islamic studies report presentation today, but despite our last minute effort to call a technician to get speaker from the ict(information communication and technology~hope this is correct) department which he did manage to get~a cable, that he claimed was the cable for the speaker(i wish i knew if he knew what he was doing), the background sound failed to come out..i can see how frustrated su was, but we human can always plan, but Allah makes the decision...
But that is not what i regret about the day..our group's turn was the last one, before us, there were 3 more groups presenting. One of the groups talked about incest and rape, and one of 'their' suggestion(don't know based on what source) one way to stop the probllem is by carrying out castration. This, of course, had aroused attention from us, the audience, thus questions were asked, wether the established punisment( stoned to death, flogging) or directly to say, the hukum of Islam is not sufficient to overcome the issue until we have to use other method and approach? well, their answer was acceptable, it is because we are living in a multi races country, thus we can't rely on islamic law merely, but to prctice fair judgement, we have to set an 'acceptable' law for everybody.
Okey, up till here, i can accept it, but after that, after a guy disputed again what they said by some facts he grab from somewhere, a lady from the group announced loudly that we are now living in a modern world, we have to get adapt to the new environment, we CANNOT JUST FOLLOW what have been done in PROPHET'S time..Example, now we have EDUCATION for kids, education is very important, so if LAST TIME THERE WAS NO EDUCATION, WE CANNOT FOLLOW THAT.(i was really2 not sure wether she refered the 'LAST TIME' as Prophet Muhammad era or not)
Of course me and friends were shocked to here this, but there was no one to stand up and correct the statements.
After their presentation ended, i said to sue, 'does that mean, when Rasulullah conveyed the rule to wear hijab(tudung) we can simply disobey it because we want to get adapt to the new era where freedom is viewed as something very much crucial?
Calmly, su said back to me, "why didn't you say that to the crowd just now?"
i said, "what for? they will reply back and the thing is not going to stop"
"i thought that is the purpose of the presentation- to discuss, to correct what i wrong, if nobody stands up to voice out and just listen and let the false statement influence everybody than this is so wrong!"
i lowered my face, yeah, she's right.
i question back myself, why i didnt say the idea i have in mind just now?
the answer is very simpe : i am afraid to do so.
Astagfirullah..i was more afraid of what people might say and think thn what ALLAH SAYS. Ya Allah please forgive me, nd grand me the strength to uphold Islam......

i lost my bank books(bsn + bcb) can't draw money because i forgot the pin number..now i am down to severalbucks in wallet..why am i telling this..depressed man!!!!!

Jewang..

2005-03-16T21:42:00.000+08:00

Kadang2 jiwang best jugak........

Inikah ertinya cinta
Hadir tanpa diminta
Hati ingin menerima tapi dibatasi cita
Sinar wajahnya bercahaya
Diriku terpesona
Namun aku masih mencari cinta Yang Esa.
Oh Tuhan ku mendamba
dan memohon darimu
Ku pohon cinta insan yang menyintaiMu
Pimpinlah daku mengenali erti cinta suci
moga dapat ku kecapi kasih yang sejati..........
Inikah ertinya cinta
Hadir tanpa diminta
Hati ingin menerima
Tapi dibatasi cita.

me foreigner..

2005-03-13T00:16:00.000+08:00

today went out to the national library with su and our friend from Oman,Rahmah..went out for all the 'hanging' research since taylors's library is insufficient in providing all of the required info.(but anyway, national library despite its hugeness, didnt help me, i just couldnt find info that is relevant to my rsearch~...~) well, u see, Rahmah is from oman, and of course, me and su are locals, but not frm kl..erm, incident 1: it was not us guiding rahmah to the national library, it was her instead guiding us there since it was our first trip to the lib and totally have no idea how does the lib looks like while it was not the first of rahmah's....
incident 2: from kl central, we embarked into the comuter in a rush, but Rahmah didnt manage to get in on time, and the door was shut, me and su screamt'rahmah!!' a second later, the door was openned again, and she enterd calmly, not surprised, shocked what so evr..how come the door is openned again? i asked out of curiosity. 'because i punched the button' rahmah said, as cool as ever. what button? i asked, flatly. 'the control button outside the door, so that you can open it when you were left outside, here, there is a same button inside, incase you didnt manage to get out in time...' i examined the button..it was there all the time? and i have been utterly disobservant, that a foreigner who has just lived here for left than 2 years has to tell me that?
we asked rahmah, have you been to berjaya time square? as expected, she answered, yes..,have you guys? huhu..almost..how about sunway lagoon(which is opposite to our apartment)? several times, said rahmah, you? well, haha..not yet..
and so the conversation went on..all of the places in malaysia that rahmah has been to but not us...
dahaha.as the conclusion joke of the day made by sue, 'well rahmah, you are malaysian, and we are foreigners!!'

~to all spm candidates 2004, congratulation for your excellent results..
~semesti ape crite?

distracted.....

2005-03-12T23:55:00.000+08:00

lots of things have been distracting me lately...however though, they were all my fault..i elicited them, i ve burdened my own life. lots of times i lost my temper and persistency, causing uptight situations with people around...where are they going to lead me to? strange ei, i couldn't stop something that i started..God please show me the way...

me and sam

2005-03-03T23:56:00.000+08:00

2 weeks and 2 days without any update..sounds like i've gone totally out of iidea or infected by laziness syndrome, but th truth is, i was madly, fervently engaged with sam! and who on earth is this sam? full name: south australian matriculation..well, too complex, sam is just nice...
pewh! luckily the common test 1 was over (except for english essay paper which i just don't get the idea of how to study it; though i always scored low mark for this subject~ blame my poor literature aptitude) the name is test, but the shadow is very huge it covers 10% of the total internal assesment.just great..it carries the same percentage as the trial..so you see, common test, though it is called a 'test' it has the same value as trial..so, i just cant afford not to study thoroughly for it..fortunately, overall, the questions were fairly moderate...
but still, all the 5 subjects' reserach are still waiting to be done, too many until i don't know where to start with..plus, islamic studies research on 'perspective of Islam upon art and culture' well`~ what do you expect to find in a taylor's library on this topic? i've scoured the web world and ~was lost..duhuhu..

today i paid the 700 buck required for the ISAT test for application of UWA(university of west australia) and Monash, and i emphasize..700 for the test..only...some more 500 buck for adelaide waiting in august..just for the test..
me and other medic to be students are praying hard that the 1200 will be paid back by jpa to us....uhuhu....we promise to study hard..=>

hooh..the most crucial thing behind these all is the entrance requirement needed is 96 minimum (for medicine of course)for almost all universities in aussie( 7 universities only to be precise) with melbourne minimum requirement as high as 99.75 (deadly high minimum~ a university full with perfect and almost perfect brains) so to say, the weekend is the most valuable time in a week, not because you can relax, but because you will have ample time to do research and organizing yourself and your work!

plus, jpa is very cncern with out performance on ENGLISH that the people there are willing to py severl hundred buck each student to attend extra english classes and xtra english test..yea..yea..i know i shouldn't complain since my ENGLISH has never been excellence but sacrifying 2 days a week, 2 hours per session, and lasts till august is just another heavy burden, at least for me..

hectic..and yet just the foundation..well, i better get use to it, before i become the real medic students....
owh ya! by the way, i wrote these all not just for the sake of releasing the depressed relationship between me and sam, but also to acknowledge those out there looking forward to do sam in the future..
anyway...sam is great and i found myself feelng enjoy in the middle of the rush and jostle...
daaaaa.....

MUSIC AND EDUCATION

2005-02-08T15:45:00.000+08:00

Though in modern world, academic performances are the most crucial thing to determine the future of individual, we can't deny that less students strive hard for academic goals, but when it comes to entertainment, particularly music, many students voluntarily involved in it. However, this is not true to all forms of music, students prefer to choose direct music such as listening to songs and radio programmes compared to participating in musical 'formal' activities such as instrumental classes (piano, violin, selo...etc), except guitar which somehow escaped the ordinary culture, choir, orchestra, band and etc.When it comes to reality shows such as 'Akademi Fantasia', American/Malaysian idol, many people struggle to beat the rest, but only few people, usually with family-music background want to involve in other forms of music apart from singing and the exclusive case of guitar. questions are, why does this phenomenon happens?, what are the differences between different approaches?, and most important, does music has anything to do with education? If not, why does music subject included in most schools, and if eithrwise it does, how and what are the evidence? Which form of approach influences students positively and which influences negatively? Lastly, is music an important element in education or just a minor source of entertainment to reduce stress?

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sort of desperate..have any idea guys? throw it out to me..really need more informations for my research..if you feel more comfortable to feedback in bahasa malaysia, please do so...

still standing??

2005-02-07T09:00:00.000+08:00

why is it like that? if you read today's newspaper, utusan malaysia, the main headline is dedicated AGAIN, to all Malays to change the attitudes, to ensure the glory of malays will never fade.Since the rule of Tun Dr.Mahathir until now under the very respected Dato'Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, this same issue has been reminded again and again," change your attitude malays!" "Wakeup malays!"..etc...the pivotal isssue is, why do we malays, must be reminded again and again? is it because malays has not changed, or worst, deplete in every aspect? not only the prime ministers, the rest of the cabinet also talk about the same thnig, another section depicts the other ministers as urging malays to be more indipendent and not only rely on government to protect and assist in everything.As a malay, i can't afford not to fill embarrass as i read it, as the indiginous, the genuine heirs of the land, why must we struggle to keep our own land? why must we feel scared to other people on our own land? years ago, we fought to liberate our country and now we are fighting again to make sure it will remain as our country, only this time we keep our blood and sweat and replace the weapon with mind. Years ago, though after tedious and exasperating wars, we won, but can we win again this time? Malays are known to be strong, with hang tuah, badang and all, but we also have tun perak who was very intelligent and undominated, so there is no reason to say that we malays are born to be less clever than other races,or less diligent..

Recently, as we all know, 100 malays(muslims) teenagers including a famous female artiste were arrested by jawi in a raid at a concert held at a nightclub which sell alcohols..and right after that jawi was accused as doing work beyond their right and has humiliated all of them, even the president of puteri umno, nurul aini or whatever is her name, backed up those teenagers as innocent and attended the concert merely because they want to hear the music, and she then claimed that jawi's reason to arrest them because of their attires was ridiculous, what if a malay wearing baju kurung attends the same concert because she wants to have a touch of the music, will jawi arrest her too?hello, assalamualaikum...ok, so the issue now is, jawi is totally guilty, and those teenagers are totally clean, pure, and it is not wrong whatsoever to attend a concert which provides alcohols? ok, release all those teens and humiliate jawi then..i am not saying jawi is the right authorization to carry out such duty, but then if they didn't do it, would we ever know that our malays teenagers have nothnig else to do then to attend such a wild party, and can we or even those teens' parents guarantee that their children will naver ever touch the alcohols? and if it is not jawi, then who else will do it???

i may sound emotional..i may not be a good malay myself...i may not be a good child to my parents..but i am concern to what will happen to malays....yes, i do know lots of very potential malays with protruding talents and qualities, thus i believe malays will never lack of fine leaders to inherit the command of our country, and i can guarantee they will work hard to improve malays..but at the same time, sadly, i have more friends that do not have the desire to move ahead..i have friends that are lost in the luxuries provided by government..i have friends who have no intention to see malays improve....i have friends who always praise and apply western culture in their lives..and i have friends who do not look like malay....(so what??)....ehehe...

it's a small world after all...

2005-02-05T11:59:00.000+08:00

Now i am at my home, in front of my family good old computer..just can't afford to bring back my precious but heavy little laptop..umph ya!happy chinese new year to all~we, Malaysian always celebrate all types of festive events together, aren't we? uhoh~espcially to all my chinese friends..and to all muslims happy new year too!awal muharam~another year has passed, how's life so far?

i felt really guilty yesterday, infact i still feel guilty right now..i sat in the bus beside a chinese guy..unMalaysianly, i didn't offer any hello or happy chinese new year to him until after 15 minutes when i realized that it's ok to do so, no harm whatsoever..and so, i asked him, "are you going back to ipoh to celebrate chinese new year?" he nodded..i asked again, "so, your hometown is in ipoh, right?" surprisingly he said no, in Kuantan..curioused, i asked, "so why are you going to ipoh?" agitated, he said "this bus is not going to kuantan meh?" in the same time, i felt worried too, because it might be me who boarded the wrong bus, i showed him my ticket, and so did him..his ticket was to kelantan! so we asked a girl across the isle to borrow hers, obviously the bus was ipoh in direction..he looked at me and said, "OO-Ooh..." hastily he went to the driver to stop at once, and disembarked in a rush..unfortunately, he left some of his belongings up in the ..what do you call it? the place in the bus where you keep your things on top of your head? whatever...he utterly forgot it and left..and it was me who suggested to keep his things there at the first place!! poor guy, i prayed that he arrive in kuantan safely, well, i should have asked him earlier..my inner doubt and not so friendly manner have costed that guy his money and time..the only good thing was, when we discovered the mishap, we were still in kl area and not yet in highway where apparently there was no turning back for that guy...phiooh....i don't even know his name!

seconds after he left, the emptied seat beside me was occupied by a punjabi girl..enough of a lesson, i offered a hello and asked her name...we talked and talked until we discovered that we were in the same primary school last time! owh, my good old days in Marian Convent~however, we were not in the same calss last time that we can't recalled memories of each other, but she did said she thought she has heard of my name...good enough, we talked about school, of friends, of current situation , Balween was currently studying in Sunway College which was very near to my apartment, doing medic too...well, she was right, the world is small after all....hehe...

well, you will never know anything if you don't put any effort to dig it out...Malaysians are rich with kind-heart-easyly approached manners...keep it up MAlaysians!!!!~

i want to run at my own pace!!

2005-01-27T22:06:00.000+08:00

People ask: what's your hobby? i answer: a lot. people ask: name some.i answer: i like to run.
I have to admit that i dont know how to play..serious..netball? nop.basketball? double nop, handball? double nop-nop..hockey? hrmm, i did play hockey last time, instead for 5 years,but after school i realized i wasnt a good player at all,or can ven be considered no-player at all~serious lack of dexterity and zero prowess~negative level of team spirit~wakaka~what i did realize was i always played alone~i always do things better when i was left alone.tht was why i liked to run..because you run alone..you set a target and you never stop till you reach the end point.
However,not until recently did i discover a stupid mistake i've done before..i have this fear of participating in tournament of long distance run..say, 1500m, 3000m.why? because iwas afraid of losing..well, honestly, i can run far, but cannot run far and fast..i run slowly throughout the mileage.When i did enter tournament, with askewed intention, instead of running for the sake of the school and my ownself, i ran to WIN..Know what happens? Once i've set to win, i would always felt agitated when somebody ran in front of me.I wanted to lead, for if i follow, i was not going to WIN.U know, there were people who really can run fast and maintain,(and there were lots of them!)and i tend to cope up with them with all my strength, but eventually, for i was out of MY OWN PACE, i tired soon enough and my speed dwindled till i was devastated for in the end, not only i can't emerge as one of the winners, i can't even feel satisfied with my effort, likely because it was not me running just know, it was my glutton desire to win!

Lately, i ran again..and that time, i ran at my own ability, i relished the exquisite views surrounding me, i ran as myself, but there was no race anymore, i ran for...health! hehe..

The moral from this story is, do things at your own boundaries of abilities.Admit that however good you are, there will be lots of other people better than you (law of universe) if you tried very hard to catch up with people infront, later you will fall down because you cannot control your ownself, because your body and your conscience disagree with you..
There was one time, i tried to be myself, i ran at my own pace, and i started behind lots of people, but i was so happy, i was energetic and free from pressure of winning, and whn it ended, i obtained good position, because lots of people running in front of me at the start cannot stand the protest from their own bodies, and surrendered somewhere along the track.

Exaggerations????

2005-01-22T22:09:00.000+08:00

Discussion (or actually mundane chatting) with my cousin today brought up a nice issue..English usage!!!Well, my cousin is doing TESL to become an English teacher, thus i offerd some advices of becoming a good and efficient English teacher~(ehem..ehem..not bad ei in giving advice, as if i dont have my own problems with English usage..urm..whatlaa!!)i recalled last time how i didnt care of English subject..no interest..in fact nothing to interest me towards English..more over there was no desperate need to use English..Consecuently, i didnt care of the very simple grammar rules and functions, but later devastated in college when everything is in English! Fortunately i have friends who were very supportive, and later i discovered that it is not that hard to master English..
So, why did last time i felt English subject was a no-no?Well, according to my cousin, there are some aspects or factors that contribute to this problem, o-oh..let me first narrow down this issue to be among Malays citizen, for 2 reasons.if I were to talk on every race, it will consume the whole page of this blog, secondly, i believe that this issue is more crucial among Malays than to other races, we Malays have more difficulties to master English,(is this true?? i dont know, itss from my own point of view, forgive me if its wrong)

Help! I'm afraid to talk in English..so susah one! got grammar, got words i have never heard, got rules i dont know how to follow..walaa..cannot talk..cannot talk..dont talk..herm, the foremost reason for why many refuse to talk..trepidation! I've learnt English since preschool but was still afraid to even ask the teacher,"May i go to toilet?" well, i call this Phenomenon as innerself conflict@ lack of confidence, like, actually you know you can converse in English, if you were alone, definitely you can, but when confronted by other people you lose your belief.

Ecece...phewitt..phewitt..cakap English nampak!Waa.dah bagus ek skarang?...Horrendous situation, confiscator of self esteem and enthusiasm, the mocks from friends..Sadly, i have to admit here, me myself has also committed this stupid habit of mocking friends who were trying to improve their English..cis, shame of myself..but then, because English was so alien, when a person talked in Englis, it sure captured attention from people around, especially when it happened abruptly.There was this mentality of people who taalk in English must be anak orang kaya(loaded), sombong(proud), berlagak(narcicism), therefore unconsciously English usage was accepted as only suitable to certain people, he must be like this, must come from this type of family..like sometimes when i know somebody who was good in English, it will accompanied by remarks from people around such as, Alaa..dulu dia duduk kat u.k...mak die orang putehlaa....alaa, anak orang kaya, biaselaa....as if, only those who once lived in oversea, who was of mixed blood, and who was brought up within wealthy family is the only 'type' of person that can talk in English!

I told my cousin, another reason why i was not attracted to English was because the class was not effective and the teachers were choosy, bias..They always called students who were known good in English..like in class, teacher will always called this particular student to answer questions...give opinions, while the rest, who were from the start feared of english usage but in the same time have fervent hopes to overcome the fear and be just as good as that particular student were ignored..left alone to struggle with the fear..no good to blame teachers, but then this issue related to everybody in the community..each of us has roles played along this issue...

Government? heh, what i see they were doing all this while was to dispute and argue with each other wether education system in English can be established..hello...that is so trivial!what is important now is to figure out how to improve English usage among Malays students..in schools, in higher educations, not to fight wether we should or should not intensify English subject! stop protesting and move your body to start working!Stop comparing our country with Japan who can develop rapidly without English..isnt it obvious, japan has everything on their own..technologies: hndphones, cars, cameras, computers, watches..they dont need any informations or supplies from the other develop part of the world;the west..but us, we need it, to build KL tower, we have to refer to foreign engineeres and architects, to build our own cars we need equipments from outsiders...yes, i do understand that we are trying to stand on our own, but mean while we still have to learn from the more experienced people...like in classes, we learn from teachers, who know lots more than we do, later when we have gathered everyting in mind, we stop learning and resume our lives the way we prefer, but as long as we havent accomplished learning, we have to depend on the teachers...phew!.what a long explaination..in conclusion, we need to master english and glean informations gradually from the outside, and later when we are finally ready we can blast out and rule the world!(ohoho...so optimist..)

ok...all factors..i dont know what is the solution except one, and let me express it in adage form.."Practices make perfect" throw your absurd mentality away, hold firm on your courage and start using English..
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me most probably going to do this issue as my English research topic..investigate more....anybody with informations or opinions do pass them to me...thank you..

Kalau tak pasti, cari dulu....

2005-01-21T10:55:00.000+08:00

"KAu hipokrit! Kalau betul nak menuntut ilmu kenapa sampai abaikan kawan? Kau kate nak jadi manusia yang tinggi ilmu, tapi kau biarkan kawan2 terkapai2.kau ade bakat, tapi sayang amt kedekut untuk korban sedikit masa untuk bantu kawan2.Dari pagi sampai malam kau belajar, tapi tak sikit kongsi ilmu untuk kawan2 yang tak sehebat dan segigih kau!"
'Tapi tu tak benar! aku ada luangkan masa untuk ajar kawan-kawan.....'
"Sebab tu aku kate kau hipokrit! kau bukan ajar mereka dengan ikhlas...itukan memang program yang disediakan, memang sesuatu yang wajib, memang kau kena ajar mereka, kalau program tu takde, kau akan rela hati cari mereka untuk ajar mereka?"
'kenapa salahkan aku? Aku cuma ikut kata2 Nabi, 'tuntutlah ilmu sampai ke negeri Cina', ada sahabat2 Nabi tak makan atau cuma makan sekali sehari dan tak berbicara dengan sesiapa semata2 untuk menuntut ilmu.Kalau para Sahabat boleh laksanakan, kenapa tidak aku? kenapa tidak engkau?'
"Kau pegang pada satu hadis tapi kau buang yang lain..Bukankah Allah telah berfirman dalam Al-Quran, 'Sesungguhnya manusia itu tidak akn hina selagi dia melaksanakan HabluminAllah wa HablumminanNaas..iaitu hubungan dengan Allah dan hubungan dengan manusia? KAu jangan ikut amalan para Shabat dengan membuta tuli, mereka itu amat tinggi ilmunya..lgipun, amalan yang kau ikut itu belum sempurna, memang mereka amat tekun menuntut ilmu tapi tidak membuang manusia, tidak membuang tuntutan hidup...Pandai kau bicara pesan NAbi menuntut ilmu sampai ke negeri Cina, tapi kau tak amalkan pesannya yang lagi satu, 'Umat yang baik itu adalah umat yang msra dan mudah dimesrai.."

....................Cerpen pendek di kala pagi hari......................
Studylah weh...asyik sangkut kat blog jer...

Raye morning..

2005-01-21T10:03:00.000+08:00

Slamat hari raya Aidiladha to all muslims, wether in Malaysia or in any part of the world..By the way, whrever we are we are still on a place guided and observed by Allah swt, that's what make no diff. between one muslim to another..we are living on the same region of the enormous universe..However, how one person celebrate this grand day is always diff. from another.For me, to celebrate it will not merely by ibadat and visiting friends and relatives, it must b accompanied by comprehension of what and why we celebrate this festive.KORBAN= SACRIFICE, well this time, i sacrifice my raye korban to accompany my cousin who couldn't afford to go back to her hometown due to distance problem, thus here we are, both of us, in Subang..

Last week,me and friends had our usual congression, solat jemaah and discussions on Islam..A friend mntioned about Akhlak,bhaviour..she said a person's akhlak is the reflection of how she pray..PRAY is the pillar of all Ibadat..If one can possess a very passionate prayer, concentrate on the Greatness of ALlah and his gifts to her, if she can reach pure serenity then it will be expressed in her life outside prayer too..Wow, i was mesmerized and shamed as well to hear this, suddenly i recalled of my not-so-smooth life...Further explanations revealed that obstacles, difficulties and sadness will always linger around a person's life, but how the person tackle her problems and wether she can stand it or fuss about it is the reflections of her ibadat, especially prayer.. Example, a person who is very diligent of performing ibadah, but sadly whenever she prays, she feel proud, or conscious of what people will say and praise later, then her prayer is not sincere enough, and therefore, this particular behaviour eventually emerged and expressed in the reality, in relation, in movements, in mind..Hemm..That's explain about quantity and quality isn't it? ehehe...know what, usually when a person gives an example of something, more often than not, it has something to do with her own life! so, you see, i admit that my prayer has not reached the highest level of sincerity, nor the level of passion...But at least i've found something to confront with to improve my life....so always check wether your life is an expression of your prayer or not...

Selamat hari raya semue, dan selamat study jugak..terutamanya budak2 SAM, study weh..kene dapat TER 99.95, harumkan name ISlam dan Melayu!!!

Chemistry; effective learning..

2005-01-17T17:52:00.000+08:00

I always try to relate educations in school with lives, especially in sciences subjects, and more impressed if it leads to prove the power of Allah SWT.But more often than not, i couldn't find or couldn't sense the connections.
Today, i think, repeat, i think i've found something very interesting during Chemistry class-actually, it's something mundane, but takes me 19 years to realize it.
Teacher was explaining about atomic structure, starting from the nucleus;proton, neutron and so electrons, some of the pupils just couldn't understand the convoluted structure + the terms-->sharp, principle, diffused, fundamental..plus the idea of orbital as in space, not merely a round flat orbit as thought in school last time.The idea of electrons moving around an atom was what attracted me, as the analogy used by teacher was very interesting.

Hmm, how do i explain it here?To depict how electrons move in an orbital of an atom, teacher ilustralized the sun, as the centerpoint or nucleus, and the Earth as the electron.These were to generate the idea that while electrons move around the nucleus, they also spin on their axis, all the time, just like our dear Earth does!It made me realizes that God can easily put the same concept on two totally different conditions! One is the very enormous Sun, Earth and generally the Universe itself, the other one is the smallest unit of lives, the invisible atoms!

I believe that if you can relate one think to another with the power of Allah SWT, then the knowledge gained is more meaningful.

E-Mel dari ibu.

2005-01-15T20:52:00.000+08:00

Kata-kata nasihat ini ditulis oleh Pak Nik, Perngarah ITM dan dibacakannya dengan penuh shahdu pada hari graduasi ITM (Institut Teknologi MARA pada 1 Mei 1982. (Hari Grad ibu - Diploma Perakaunan ). Sekarang ini dikenali sebagai Uitm.
Ibu simpan dah lebih 20 tahun dah kerana kata-katanya yang amat berguna untuk ibu jadikan bekalan dalam kehidupan ibu. Sekarang anak-anak teruskanlah pulak.....
. Kata-katanya:-

KHUSUS UNTUK ANAK-ANAKKU YANG AKAN MENINGGALKAN MENARA ILMU:-

TAJUK: HIDUP DI HARI ESOK

Esok dan lusa kau akan diperiksa
Kau akan disoal dan ditanya
Untuk menguji samaada kau sudah bersedia menghadapi dunia
Menghadapi hidup yang penuh cabaran
Menghadapi cabaran yang penuh durjana
Menghadapi kedurjanaan dengan penuh keimanan.

Pabila kau lulus dengan sekeping kertas
Dengarlah nasihatku ini wahai anak-anakku
Ku bukannya bermadah kerana aku bukannya pujangga
Tidak juga ku mendeklamasikan sajak berirama
Kerana aku bukannya penyajak yang mempunyai diploma
Cuma ku memberi nasihat jika ada yang sudi memasang telinga

Pabila kau melangkah ke alam pekerjaan
Janganlah mencari kerja semata-mata kerana gaji
Tapi carilah pekerjaan untuk berkhidmat dan berbakti

Jika engkau berada di atas puncak jawatan dengan penuh kuasa
Janganlah engkau bertindak zalim terhadap orang bawahanmu
Tetapi hendaklah engkau berlaku adil dalam tindak tandukmu

Jika engkau berada di bawah tanpa apa-apa kuasa
Janganlah hendaknya kau berdengki dengan orang atasan yang diberi kuasa
Tetapi hendaklah engkau bekerja keras untuk sampai ke puncak tangga

Jika engkau diberi kekayaan oleh Tuhanmu, Tuhan semesta alam
Janganlah hendaknya kau berlagak sombong sehingga lupa daratan
Janganlah hendaknya kau khayal dengan hartamu sehingga bersubahat dengan syaitan
Janganlah hendaknya kau menjadi bakhil terhadap simiskin papa kedana
Kerana kekayaanmu itu adalah dari Tuhan yang maha kuasa

Jika kau ditimpa bencana menjadi miskin papa
Janganlah hendaknya kau berhasad dengki dengan orang kaya-kaya
Tetapi berdoalah kepada Tuhan semoga rezeki melimpah ruah seperti hujan

Pabila kau diangkat tinggi diberi kemuliaan
Janganlah membenci orang yang hina yang berada dalam kesusahan
Tetapi gunakanlah kemuliaan itu untuk membantu yang hina yang berkehendakkan pertolongan

Pabila kau diberi amanah
Janganlah hendaknya seperti pagar memakan padi
Tetapi hendaklah menjaga amanahmu seperti Rasul dan Nabi

Pabila kau diberi pangkat yang tinggi-tinggi
Janganlah hendaknya kau menggunakan pangkat itu untuk kepentingan diri
Tetapi gunakanlah pangkat itu untuk kepentingan bangsa dan ibu pertiwi

Pabila kau diberi jasad yang sihat tanpa kesakitan
Janganlah hendaknya kau lupa kepada Allah seperti manusia lupa daratan
Janganlah sehingga engkau jatuh sakit baru mengenal Tuhan
Tetapi gunakanlah kesihatan itu untuk mengabdikan diri kepada Tuhan

Pabila kau diberi kelebihan dalam sesuatu
Janganlah hendaknya kau berlagak sombong seperti merak di atas kayangan
Tetapi gunakanlah kelebihan itu untuk mengajar orang yang memerlukan ilmu pengetahuan

Pabila kau sampai untuk beristeri
Carilah wanita dan bukannya betina
Janganlah cari yang cantik semata-mata kerana kecantikan
Tetapi carilah yang senang di hati walaupun rupa tidak menawan
Janganlah cari yang kaya semata-mata kerana kekayaan
Tetapi carilah yang baik budi walaupun ia bukan hartawan

Carilah ibu kepada anak-anakmu dan bukannya ibu penyu
Carilah penasihat kepada kamu dan bukannya ratu yang mengawalmu
Carilah kekaih yang seksi yang boleh memuaskan kalbu

Pabila kau sampai ketika untuk bersuami
Carilah lelaki dan bukannya jantan
Janganlah cari yang kacak semata-mata kerana tampan
Tetapi carilah yang baik hati walaupun kepala sudah beruban

Janganlah cari yang kaya semata-mata kerana kekayaan
Tetapi carilah yang berbudi mulia walaupun ia bukan hartawan

Carilah bapa kepada anak-anakmu yang mengerti makna kasih sayang
Carilah dahan tempat bergantung ketika kau dalam kesusahan
Carilah lelaki yang seksi tetapi pandai menjaga kesopanan
Carilah teman hidup dan bukan teman hanya untuk dakapan.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ku iringi nasihat ini dengan doa restu
Moga-moga kau selamat sehingga ke anak cucu
Selamat belajar dan selamat diperiksa
Selamat berbakti kepada nusa dabn bangsa.

All about them...

2005-01-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

Syusss....Be quite..i don't want them to notice what i am about to do..i'm going to talk about them..who? my friends.
19 years of joy and happiness, not a single day void of friends.
"One can never declare one's faithfulness(eeman) without loving one's brothers and sisters more than one does towards oneself"
It took me 19 years to decipher the obscured meaning behind this firman.Once again i have to admit my ignorance and take-things-for-granted attitude.For 19 years, i thought what implied by this firman was to have good relation with friends and never hurt their feelings, plus to respect their principles, plus to remind them when they forgot which was wrong, which was right, plus to create harmonies among friends.
But that thoughts were simply not enough, so to say not deep enough to guarantee the eeman coaxed by all that declare themselves true Muslims.

Centuries ago, among the as-sahabat of Prophet Muhammad SAW, many were injured in a war.Despite their severe injuries, when drink was passed along, each of them refused to drink until their friends have drank first.Eventually, they all died, in respect towards their friends, and of course their allegiance were paid with the highest honours in the hereafter.

Reminiscing, i admit that though i respect my friends, seldom do i have the willing to sacrifice for them.in study, in social life, in conversation, in possessions,...examples, like when a friend asked me for solutions to certain questions while i was unisonly doing my own work, i will asked them to WAIT until i accomplish what ever thing i was doing.
When the number of friends who turned me down and went for someone else increased, i asked myself, "why don't they ask me?", the unnerving feelings of disliked by friends emerged when actually all i have to do is to put a little bit priority of my friends' needs than to my own.
Or like when given with tasks, usually i tried to grab the easiest part, leaving the harder ones to someone else-i don't care who.
or like to do things as perfect as possible and to be the best without considering the impacts, feelings and repercussions towards friends who were also involved.
or indirect action such as trying to solve a question as fast as possible so i'll be noticed as the superior subject, not my friends..

To love your friends more than you love your ownselves.This, should not be expressed through actions merely, but must be preceded by inner thoughts, justifications, conscience, intentions, and everything about you.

Wasiat

2005-01-10T21:39:00.000+08:00

Wasiat Allah kepada Nabi Muhammad s.a.w

Daripada Nabi SAW :Pada waktu malam saya diisrakkan sampai ke langit, Allah SWT telah mmberikan 5 wasiat:

1.Janganlah engkau gantungkan hatimu kepada dunia kerana sesungguhnya Aku tidak menjadikan dunia ini untuk engkau.

2.Jadikan cintamu kepadaKu sebab tempat kembalimu adalah kepadaKu.

3.Bersungguh-sungguhlah mencari syurga.

4.Putuskan harapan daripada makhluk kerana sesungguhnya mereka itu sedikit pun tidak ada kuasa di tangan mereka.

5.Rajinlah mengerjakan solat Tahajud kerana sesungguhnya pertolongan itu berserta Qiamullail.

another year of another journey

2005-01-08T23:58:00.000+08:00

it was right 2 months after the long break(relatively to the tremendous works and studies, they were short) and now resuming the balance of another year, here in Taylor's..it was just a week, or accurately 4 days of college but as if direct continuation from last years, on the second day, received the research task for chemistry, and had already burdenned with essay that have to be presented next week.Not to say i prefer slow start on the early part of the year, but there are things that i wish i could accomplish first before plunging to the tedious and head cracking studies and researches.
People change..
Principles change...
Last time in school i have stringent principle of talking less and read more.But now, i have to talk..talk and talk and talk..that is..to master the English usage, and one of many notions i hold is that 'practices make perfect', thus the efficient way of honing my english usage is by talking, building confidence.i've discovered that ANYBODY can speak well in English once they have learnt it plus able to read english articles, it is the matter of confidence that determine the ability.Last tim e i was very sceptical of my own ability, and once smothered by skepticism, it always haunts you everywhere.And so to speak, by doing something you are not confident with will gradually erase the intriguing thoughts.And that is exactly what i do, talk! Fortunately i have friends who are willing to see their friends improve and savour a better life, and these are friends who do not laugh at you when you make silly grammar mistakes when you talk, infact we help each other by encouraging to use English at home apart from inevitable usage in classroom.
I fought once with a friend over changing of principles and believes.i believe that you must always have principles everywhere and anywhere, but these principles must not be deadlocked, once you sense a mistake in your principle or discover something new that could have improved your life, you can always repair it to suit with your current situations and surroundings, like what i did, from a serious studious girl to a more talkative person, and it made me feel better!
Like my principle of not falling in love NOW, what i mean is to ovrcome other big issues first such as accomplishing my study, but if somehow someday i feel like i found a nice person who is very very nice to me(and of course suits with criterias i have set) then why not?

But then of course one must be able to distinguish between improving one's principles with betraying them, for some people just dump their principles for unreasonable reasons.Asking myself what is my targets for the new year, it is to know my ownself deeper....

tak malukah aku?

2005-01-01T02:10:00.000+08:00

Bila bicara soal bencana Tsunami yang melanda baru2 ni, saya sgt teragak-agak untuk memberi pandangan.Satu-satunya alsan ialah, saya tak yakin kepada diri sendiri bahawa saya dapat merasai, memahami, menderitai kesengsaraan mangsa-mangsa bencana untuk layak menulis bahawa saya simpati dan mendoakan kesejahteraan mereka.Apa yang saya rasa ini pasti hanya satu kewajipan untuk merasai sebagai seorang saudara, tetapi untuk merasai kesedihannya sehingga mendorong untuk mencari usaha membantu mereka adalah amat nipis atau mungkin boleh sahaja kata tidak wujud melainkan simpati.Saya tidak punya wang yang banyak untuk menderma, pun tak pasti jika benar2 punya wang akan sanggup diserahkan kepada mereka setelah mengambil kira keperluan hidup sendiri, dengan lain kata, untuk tidak teragak-agak berkorban harta mungkin belum pasti.Mungkin.....Tidak malukah saya menggunakan perkataan mungkin untuk melindungi maruah sendiri? Pedulikan..Sekarang perlu bicara mangsa2 Tsunami, dengan cara apa saya selaku saudara seagama dapat hulur bantuan? Saya tengok di tv, ramai orang hulur bantuan wang, pakaian, makanan, perabot, tapi di tempat saya tiada aktiviti pengumpulan sumbangan seumpama itu.Atau saya yang tidak mencari dan duduk tunggu di rumah konon-konon kelak akan ada orang datang meminta bantuan sumbangan...
Yang pasti bila bicara soal Tsunami dan kesengsaraan mangsa-mangsanya, saya jadi malu kerana saya dan mereka tidak dijalin oleh apa-apa selain doa kepada Yang Maha Esa.....

Don't judge, huh?

2005-01-01T01:54:00.000+08:00

I still have some fragments of my old days in my mind, sweet old times that is. Like, when i walked with friends and people would asked which university we were from, to mention here that we were merely 16 or 17 on that time.And some other times, unity with relatives who i seldom see, would elicited questions such as, have you finished your study? or like, how old are you? 16? Oh, i thought it was 20 something..Or somebody in some shopping complexes confusedly assumed me as one of the workers there.

And of course, i felt elated for having such matured appearance and un-childish look, or at least that was what i thought because now i am perplexed, after some eradicating incidents of my notion all these while.When i decided to buy some magazines in a bookstore to read while waiting for my father to pick me up, the receptionist unhesitantly asked, how about majalah fokus for SPM preparation? I was surprised for sure, fortunately managed to prevent myself from blurting out, "does i look like an SPM candidate??!!" instead, i smiled, and pushed myself away.Well, after all, the receptionist might have confused me for 17 because one of the mags i bought was dewan sastera and i assumed that this was a result as most ofdewan sastera readers were school kids, or that was what i thought again.

When i attended a wedding ceremony(kenduri kahwin) of a relative, my mother introduced me to one of the guests who coincidentally, has a sister that was once my senior in my alma matter, and when my mom passed this info to her, she immediately asked, "Oh, really? Then you must be older by now, because my sister is going to finish har study in University..so, in which form are you now?"

Yes, thank you very much for asking, but i am right now doing my foundation years in a college and about to fly to Australia in two years time..No.no, i am not lying, that is true, oh, yes, i might look stupid to you, but that is true..
Again, i was saved, this time by quick answers from my mum, before i say something.

On another occasion(devastating that is), i was doing an errand for my brother, that is to submit his application form to a boarding school.I went with my mum, on the way out of the school compound, we met an acquaintance, so mother stopped by to exchange words, and one of the abrupt questions from him to mum is, "is she(me) going to study here next year?" mum smiled while i was flustered inside.

To think back, i believe i have not changed much, perhaps it is just the matter of coincidence(and i will count how many more i will confront!).
But, what i learnt here is, albeit the existence of the old adage, 'Don't judge a book by its cover', i think we cannot avoid JUDGING PEOPLE, or more likely to say here it is a custom, or maybe an innate behaviour that anybody will unconsciously commit.What else can you think about when you see a pretty lady (with raving beauty)walked passed you? Of course you cannot excavate out her personals but the least you can think about is what is her manners? Her behaviours? is her manners as good as her look? Maybe she is one of those devil ladies disguised by good look...and actually you ARE judging her! Well, it is not only towards extraordinary people, but to everybody(perhaps those blessed with goodlook will be doused a little bit extra from this judging business), and sadly to say it is always based on the first impression@ look! So you see, that is the main reason why everytime we met a person and later realized we have had wrong judgement about him, we will suddenly recall the classic proverb,'Don't judge.......', because we are programmed to judge at the very first place by our own innerselves....

(i am trying to figure out why i was taken as young as 15 years old(like in the case of sending my brother's form for him to proceed to his after PMR studies)when it is only a year left before i reach 20..i have a prophecy that in Australia where the citizens are much huge i will be mistaken as a foreign primary school student!!)

Thank you very much, but i'm not buying it..

2004-12-26T11:10:00.000+08:00

Advertisements..advertisements....advertisements..
It is well known that with numerous products and newborn competitors, the competitions between companies and manufacturers are gradually becoming very crucial, and the battle can obviously be observed in the medias; television, radio, magazines, internets, lots of advertisements advertising one company's products; name them: Shampoo, cosmetics, electrical appliances, digital cameras, handphones, slimming pils,exercise machines..bla...bla..bla...

However, to me, i think these competitions are getting absurd and ridiculous!!So, can somebody sincerely admit that after using shampoo of an XXX brand,her hair really turn out to be as delicately(or ridiculously) smooth as those models appear on tv??I believe that those models themselves have turned themselves to saloon and spent a lot on 'rebonding technique'(or perhaps something much more sophisticated and expensiveee) just to be noticed by producers that will consequently invite them to act out in the advertisement and say: "Oh, i just use shampoo....".Well, to us, mundane customers, who obviuously cannot reach those models to exhume the truth out, obediently accept those lies as something that have to be accepted!

If that is not absurd enough, how about slimming pills?? Sometimes i laugh out alone to watch those 'desperate' ads..One model or representor of the product will expose:" i have lost 15 pounds after using XXX for three months.." when the product itself was released no more than two weeks ago! Oh, come on slimming pills companies..that tactic is too obsolete..

The same goes to cosmetics brands..don't you think it is such a big lie when an artiste appears to be a representor of a product and she claims that the product is very effective that it has help her to demolish all of her problems with her face? why do i accuse it as a lie is because the reason is too apparent, usually an artiste has already has a strikingly smooth complexion, and because of that, she is invited to be the representor cum model for a certain newborn product.Obviously, she has been using other product(or products) before she signs agreement with the company.Do you think she will automatically change her cosmetics brand after the agreement?? What i believe is, a well known artiste usually uses expensive products from famous wordlwide's products, plus she is likely to attend facial saloons to take care of her face which no doubt cost hudreds(or thousands) of ringgit.But, eventually she will stand on a stage and announces to the audience, "use this product and within 2 weeks you will see the difference..."and recieves a loud applause..and even if she is such a humble artiste who does not waste her money on expensive or overseas products, isn't it obvious that she has been using some other products to obtain her look now, and not the current product she is advertising??...marketing strategies...

Well, to me i feel much more comfortable to be simple..and to seek the secrets of happy and healthy life from the Islamic view..i prefer not to be cheated by the advertisements...

hidup terus hidup

2004-12-24T13:00:00.000+08:00

Katakanlah kepada sahabatku yang melihatku telah wafat
mereka meratapi kematianku dan menangisiku kerana sedih
Apakah kamu menyangka bahawa aku adalah mayat kamu?
Demi Allah, sebenarnya aku ini bukanlah mayat.
Aku berada dalam barzakh dan jasadku ini
dahulu merupakan rumah dan pakaianku untuk beberapa masa
Aku burung pipit dan ini adalah sangkarku
Aku terbang meninggalkannya dan tinggallah ia tergadai
Aku mutiara yang tertutup kulitnya
Untuk mengujiku maka aku tinggalakn cubaan itu
Aku memuji kepada Allah kerana telah membebaskan aku
dan membangun untukku tempat timggal di syurga
Dahulu sebelum ini aku adalah mayat di antara kamu
maka sekarang aku hidup dan aku buka kafan itu
Sekarang aku berdialog dengan alam arwah
Dan aku memandang Allah dengan jelas dan terang
Aku telah pergi dan meninggalkan kamu
Aku tidak rela tempat kamu menjadi negeriku
Janganlah kamu sangka bahawa maut itu kematian
Sesungguhnya ia adalah kehidupan, dan tujuan akhir
Janganlah kamu merasa gementar menghadapi maut
Ia tidak lain hanyalah perpindahan dari sini

Abu Hamid Al Ghazali

Turning point

2004-12-24T11:44:00.000+08:00

When you come across a u-turn sign by the road side, does it resemble anything to you? a u-turn sign is put in the middle of a road, usually parting a stretch of divider, metal poles, or decoration grass.u-turn is a place to make a turn, towards the other stretch of road, leading towards opposite direction.

In lives, we have our turning points too.When do we turn around into another utterly different path? Compared to a u-turn, we choose to change direction when we have gone beyond our targeted place, or when we realize we are going into a wrong direction of where we are supposed to go, or when we are stranded in a baning congestion that we prefer a different direction with less trouble, or when suddenly we make decision to go elsewhere, or because the only way to reach our destination have to be through that particular u-turn, or because when we use a u-turn, we are actually shortening the distance compared to another alternative track , or even because we simply like to do a u-turn!

Back to the analogy, in lives, at certain points we have to turn around when things have gone beyond our desires.When you did something wrong, or to a point you realized there is something not right in your life,you will start searching for a turning point to be on the right track again.But, sometimes u-turns are elusive, infact on the road, sometimes you feel exasperated for it is so hard to find a u-turn when you really need one, but when you have no desire for it, it is everywhere.

In lives, we often neglected all the 'u-turns' in front of us, only to find that when crucial things emerge, the precious 'u-turns' have disappeared.When we are embraced by luxuries and comfortabilities, we look at the straight lane as the only compatible path to us; no turning back, but we have underestimate the function of a u-turn, for actually it reminds us, as a human, or more accurately, a slave to The Almighty we often commit sins and wrongdoings and even so, He always provides us with turning points, to return us back to the genuine path..

Air Milo Pedas

2004-12-22T17:26:00.000+08:00

pernah dengar air milo pedas? saye pernah, sbb saye yang buat..hahaha..kesilapan akibat tidak berfikir panjang..malangnya, resipi julung2 kali tu terpaksa dibuang dalam sinki sebab tak sedap langsung!

Don't blame us.It is simply too long..

2004-12-21T09:29:00.000+08:00

SAMPLE 1:
oit aqiz lama cuti hg ye ape buat kt umah ek nnt free aku turun la ipoh. hg pn..lawatla member ni..thn dpn takleh dh. duk umah tu..jgn jd cm kt pkn lak bdn naik
hehe..jgn marah

SAMPLE 2:
tHuR!!!aPsAl kO lEtAk pIc MASe mUkE sEkO2 sLenGe??!!mIsS yA gAl!!!

SAMPLE 3:
hallu...ni first testimonial from me...best nyer..debutt...okok...byebye

When my mom has plenty of leisure time usually she will be around her children's activities, and so, whenever she feel free and saw me sitting in front of the computer, she will not hesitate to join me, and usually she was so excited to read MY TESTIMONIAL in friendster apart from this blog.But more often than not, she will complain of her incapability to understand the LANGUAGE used.I told her it is either BM or English, what is so hard? She says she doesn't understand the jargon and shortforms that are extremely unacceptable.She says WE, teenagers have created our own language that can only be understand by our generation and, the language is ABSURD.Plus, the new form of communication language has rotten the very beutiful languages created by our ancestors.

To think back, sometimes i agree with my mom, that we have contaminated our languages with all not so nice words, shortforms, and combined words.That is excluding the very contagious BAHASA ROJAK that not only used by us, but also the adults(especially big people and actors/resses, u can detect this easily when they appear on tv)

But HOWEVER, i find myself tied to this attitude and even so comfortable with it. So, i asked myself, if it is so wrong why do i feel so compelled using it??i believe there must be an answer, and finally i came to a conclusion that actually this type of language made our lives LOTS MORE EASIER AND SMOOTHER!!

As we all know, bahasa malaysia has longer forms of words compared to other languages, such as english or Cantonese.For example lets take the famous sentence-->i love you..in BM it will be the shortest, aku cinta padamu, but this is basically grammatically wrong for it is supposed to be: aku cinta kepadamu, see the different? if we compare with Cantonese: wo ai ni..haha..even shorter..
Actually i love BAHASA MALAYSIA and i think it is very beautiful and you can see the exquisite flow of it in literatures, poems, novels, etc.However, we have to admit it is beautiful and nice to hear because the words are long and rhythmic.

What i am trying to imply here is, WE, THE NEW GENERATION CREATIVELY has come out with an alternative to save the time and make business run faster and smoother.If you can see above in sample 2, words such as APSAL derived from APA HAL.instead of uttering it in two separated words we combined it into one simple and easy word.PICTURE, an English word is used to replace GAMBAR, simply because there is no such thing as GAM as a shortform of GAMBAR whereas in ENG, it can simply put as PIC!See, how it helps us to go on within the hectic world nowadays?Then we come to the word SLENGE, a word that is simply out of any dictionaries but its effectiveness and compatibility made it accepted among us.(Actually, i am not really sure what is the meaning of SLENGE, but i can guess it out!)-->easy to understand, another scoring mark for the jargon..

So, to all, it is crucial to know that to compete with other developed countries, we have to do things express.Not only to think smart, but also we must think FAST.Eventhough i support the efforts to preserve our language and really longing to see it blooms around the world, but i have to admit that with an alternative to make things simpler, i just can't resist using it.

Don't blame us.We are just pouring out our creativity and proficientcy.
And one more thing, i believe that if you really love your language, you will always be alerted when to use it in the most proper way, without mistakes..

Ape hukumnya??

2004-12-19T21:11:00.000+08:00

Saje nak tau, ape hukum seorang muslimah yang bertudung beritahu kepada khalayak mengenai rambutnya? senang cerita, macam Waheeda dalam iklan syampu tu, dia beritahu rambut dia panjang..apa hukumnya?? siapa tahu??

Unstable fluctuation

2004-12-18T15:27:00.000+08:00

What issue made heavy disgruntle lately?Yup, non other than the rising of everything.Name them; toll rate, ferry fares, school buses' fare, even cekodok in the hawker's stall also increased tremendously. Sometimes i wonder how did our country eradicated poverties among its citizens when accompanying insentives and upgrading of facilities were skyrocketing prices of goods and services.What joy did one(esp government employees) feel with every bonus he received when it was determined to be used as a supplement towards the higher demands of basic needs?Hmph, however we as a good citizen must understand the problems faced by our government due to inevitable increases of payments as results of agreement with private sectors, which also indicated that those private companies depend on the escalation to improve their revenues and profits. And we must also apprehend how one thing pertained to another one, with numerous companies in the industry, competitions were crucial.More and more products supplied and many alternatives developed, within them the uprising of the need on crude products and because of the limited items, the prices skyrocketed.That have not included the rise in taxes and many more bureau processes payments.Plus, the control of economy from west has put our economy in unstable condition.Therefore, eventhough we cannot avoid lamenting and feeling dejected for the rises of prices, we must allow ourselves to ponder on why these have to happen.Besides, that was how our world was going to be-->increase, increase, and no turning back.Be prepare, it was likely to become a custom.

HOWEVER, this is only true to certain areas.When i went to a shopping complex to buy a new dress, i have a problem to choose, not what type of dress nor the pattern or colour of the dress, but it was the SIZE!!i have troubled myself revisiting the change room again and again as the size of dress i chose was not compatible(in another word, they were tight!!) Guess what? Finally i bought a dress i was fond with in the XXL size! Me?XXL? Man, this was so serious..I guess i was lucky because they do supply a XXL dress for if not, i would likely say bye-bye to that dress.I know myself, i was not THAT HUGE to be so desperate to buy a XXL dress, the problem was i think the sizes has shrink time to time..sometimes i was confiused between youth and kids departments because the dress were slowly getting similar!!Well, cannot blame the suppliers, it was a trend nowadays for teenage girls(and even boys) to wear small-tight dresses.I understand that it was a new trend, but cannot stop myself gurgling or even letting out guffaw when i saw muslimat wearing tudung(head's cover) but in the same time wore tighth clothes-->tops, blouses, and no-doubt; new trends of hips-shaping jeans..But at certain incidents the laughter turned into shameful shock when the attires were way beyond the limit..How do you justify tudung matched with sleeveless tops?? or tudung matched with slightly under the knees skirts?? Sometimes i wonder if the uprising of prices has anything to do with the receding of clothes' size...

So finally, these are what i call as unstable fluctuations..what needed to be decreased went horrifyingly up, and what needed to be bigger, become smaller..

Now i know why it is so special

2004-12-14T20:25:00.000+08:00

Huarghhh!!so tired..today is my second day of attachment with the hospital.Great!i've learnt lots of new things, even discovered that the forensic specialist demonstrating post mortem to me was once semestian too..hehe, Dr Khairul, i was so engrossed talking to him to be so oblivious of the cadaver till at one point i felt like reaching for the corpse's heart when Dr Khairul instructed his attendant to bring the heart to him.Dr Adi was very keen of sending me again to the post-mortem room(i still don't know why) but unfortunately there was no more cadaver to be perused!
one more funny thing i've stumbled to was when on the first day, a doctor explained thoroughly to me about a patient's condition in English but i found myself incapable of understanding a single thing.At first i thought it must be because of the English that i was left perplexed, but today, another doctor, with different patient, explained in Bahasa Malaysia and i still couldn't understand anything!!i realized then, that the terms used were the major problems.Can you understand a conversation such as,"Oh, the patient is critical with GDSP and an MO is going to treat him.....venus..collapsed......bleeding internally..BGC....LMA..insert for breathing..COBRA..ABCDEFGHIJK...."pergh!!!all i could do was to nod as if i understand..good act, ei..

But above all, the most precious lesson i've gained from hours of observation was what is MEDIC itself.MEDIC at first appeared to me to be similar with engineering or any other human-machines jobs.Because, as engineers mend machines doctors also mend something, which are human bodies.It was like joining back broken wires(joining back broken bones),tightening loose bolts(sewing wounds),lubricating old machines(ventilating or inserting medicines) and all, but later i realized i've missed out the most apparent difference; human are living things while machines are not! Human can feel pain, endures agonies, and most important, human REACTS!!When you repair a machine, you only focus on one sole objective or mission, that is so the machine will be on good condition again and thus, can be used again, and if the machine is not likely to be repaired anymore, it can simply or even reluctantly be discarded .WHereas, a doctor, or an MA(medical attendant)or a nurse in the other hand have to deal with many aspects.First and foremost, the pain.So tell me, how do you treat a small kid crying incessantly for a severe injury which is guaranteed wuth a very excruciating pain?As what i've seen, either it was an act or innate behavior, all of the medical team treat such patient as calm as nothing crucial had happened.Second, the human's feeling.Some cases were actually not severe, but the profound fear from the patients especially small kids disturbed the treatment process.

No. i'm not trying to compare medic with any other courses nor do i want to underestimate them.it is simply an expression towards a new path i found in my life.Honestly, before this, i wanted to involve in MEDIC'S world because of the influences i received from my surrounding; schools, teachers, parents, friends, books, but now, perhaps it has changed, i want to be with medical staff for the miracles behind it....

2004-12-12T22:46:00.000+08:00

nilah muke2 gembire baru dapat duit, hehe..

you deserved what you get; special dedication to a special friend

2004-12-12T21:51:00.000+08:00

9th December 2004-Alhamdulillah 20-x SPM students from all over peninsular had received award from Malaysian giant company-Shell, and i was one of them.It was launched and together the awards were handed by Deputy Education Minister, Dato Mahadzir Mohd Khir.Here i want to express my heartiest gratitude to Shell who has kindly chose me, a humble-mediocre to receive such warm appreciation which i had never expected, nor had i ever wished i will get.

Apart from the mere-tribute,i want to express a special dedication to a friend who was also there in the Shell's vibrant hall, receiving the same award, but i have no gut to display his name here, for he might feel uncomfortable with it.So my dedication to him is; you deserved what you get, don't dispute your own abilities nor yourself.If you read these words i am dedicating to you, please acknowledge that a man's power is not judged on his physical achievements merely, not because he wins lots of battles(in your case, it is games), not because he excels very well in examinations, not because he is well known by lots of people, but actually a man's power is what hidden in his soul, of what and how he see the world and people around, and of course his ownself.Some people are very good, they achieve lots of fames and glorious achievements but sadly they are too proud and thus ignorant towards other people, especially the poor ones.But those who have true spirits embedded in their soul care for other people, and what's more, care for their relation with The Almighty. And therefore, everything they do is focused on finding the right path, and those are people who deserve appreciations.

So, friend, don't ever say you didn't deserve what you get just because your achievements are not up to other's, but always look for the secrets behind it..maybe the award was a point for you to evaluate yourself all this while, and a mark to sprint towards higher stake..

P/s: To An Nee and Syafee..Congratulations!!SEMESTI rules!!!!!

2004-12-07T09:31:00.000+08:00

J1-2.18 class of 2004

2004-12-07T09:27:00.000+08:00

fresh faces

2004-12-07T09:25:00.000+08:00

3 smart girls

Reactive VS Productive

2004-12-05T20:26:00.000+08:00

What type of person are you? REACTIVE or PRODUCTIVE..A reactive person is a person who depends on the surroundings to react whereas a productive person reacts on his own wills and desires..For example, a reactive person's mood and feeling often depends on the weather; when it's cloudy or gloomy, his feeling is affected too.A productive person carries out his planning no matter whatever happens around him.

In an organization, there was this president who was excellent but only on his own personal life, when it came to group works, he became 'controller' instead of team member..often he would instructed his workers to do this and that in a very uncondusive way, consequencing in unpleasant feedbacks from the employees.However, there was this one particular worker who not even refused to join with the unsatisfied workers'congregation but carried out his works over the president's expectations.He avoided to look at the weakness of the president, but instead looked at his targets and future plannings and set his work accordingly to the leader's plans.He would also inserted his recommendations which went on with the analysis and these really attracted the president's attention.
Thus, in the next meetings, when the president continued giving orders assertively to the rests, he turned to that particular worker, and asked, "What are your opinions?"
This uncommon remark surely captured the others' attentions for it was very unusual and not expected. Of course, the other REACTIVE workers felt envy and dissatisfied, however the PRODUCTIVE worker didn't allow hisself to be impinged by the situation and therefore found ways to have good interactions with the rests and finally the excellent worker was honored by other's for diligency and sincerity,and thus, the rests followed his principle-: we work to gain competency, to give the best out of us, not to be affected by somebody else's weakness..

From this simple yet meaningful story, i have the idea of how a PRODUCTIVE person should be.He is a person who does what he feels right, take other's opinions into consideration but never let them interfere with his desires.A REACTIVE person on the other side, depends on people around to control his reactions.If people react kindly and as what he wants toward him , he will feed back in good way too, but once put in depressing situation or with unpleasant people and later found out his works deteriorating, he will blame those around as responsible to his depleting stake, when actually he HISSELF chose to NOT IMPROVE HISSELF just because the unwelcoming situations.

ehem..ehem..so who are you? REACTIVE or PRODUCTIVE?

This is so embarrassing!

2004-12-03T14:15:00.000+08:00

So, this is what happens when u have never cared to study Grammar when u were supposed to do so in school!Realising that i needed to do something with my grammar, i started doing exercises in a book i found abandoned-dusty-forgotten in the bookshelf.I was engrossed in doing it, and discovered that it was quite tough! I was so determined and believed that my grammar is really going to improve as i keep on doing the exercises when suddenly i turned the book around just to discover that that particular grammar-exercise book was for second former!! No wonder there was a huge number 2 in the front cover..at first i wondered what it means..and when the truth emerged..hoho..i was so embarrass!! i found the grammar exercises for second former difficult!!feuw...this is so serious..i need to work hard on my grammar..

Forget the grammar stuff for a while, lets talk about PERCEPTION-as this is something i've learned from the famous book by stephen r covey-7 habits of highly effective people-in the intro Covey tried to imply the definition of Perception in a very descriptive yet cogent way;-He has a son who at first was a slow learner in everything he involved such as in classes, examinations, relationship and even in the softball game, and thus he(the son) has low self esteem and showed slow progress.
Covey and wife tried to help by telling him time to time that he was good, he was smart, he was brave, and every time he did something good they will handed rewards..nevertheless, all of their efforts were to no avail as their son was not showing progress up to their expactations.Thus, they settled down and thought deeply for their flaws..And finally after long pondering they realized that though they had tried many positive efforts but in their mind, their PERCEPTION were still the same..though they tried to convince their son that he was a gorgeous person but in their mind they themselves still looked him as a timid, slow boy..and thus their perception did not match their actions..and in conclusion, Covey conveyed that PERCEPTION was the basic of everything..nowadays there were so many methods being used and adviced by so many people to solve problems but all these methods, according to Covey were just shortcuts which settled problems in the surface and not to the roots.

And as i read, i realized that PERCEPTION was actually also known as in our society as mind set..and extended from that i realized that our leaders and big people always talked about changing our peoples' mind set but their PERCEPTION towards the people were not necessarily encouraging..well..i hope i'm wrong..
And to all so-called ordinary people, hopefully we'll understand that each and every effort we take must always pair up with what we have in mind and heart...

Real Journey ; From Beirut To Jerusalem

2004-11-30T22:25:00.000+08:00

I've just completed reading From Beirut To Jerusalem by Dr.Ang Swee Chai.This is my preview of the contents:

This book(Journal it is, to be more spesific) is based on the experiences of Dr.Ang when she joint the volunteer group of Britain to Beirut in 1982. History has drawn the very horrifying massacre of Palestinians, 1982, and Dr. Ang was a part of the bloody tragedy.This story was written as part of Dr.Ang's incessant efforts to voice out the forbidden voices of Palestinians and to find the end point of the inhuman oppressions of Palestinians, (or to be more accurate, the voices of Exiles of Palestinians living in Lebanon.)
I was very touched and ashamed as well for all this long i've been ignorant of the plight endured by my own people of the same religion.How could i felt myself have already hold on iman when i don't even know where and what has heppened to muslim in other parts of the world.All i know is Palestinians were always attacked and sieged by Israelis but not aware on how bad was the conditions and sufferings.

Only after reading this book i realized how excruciate the pain my brothers and sisters have felt.....

"Some of the latest weapons had been tested on this city.The implosion bomb, also known as 'vacuum bomb', was capable of 'sucking' a ten-storey block of flats to the ground in a matter of seconds-reducing it to a mighty heap of concrete and rubble, burying all its occupants alive.It was all over in an instant, unlike what happened with the phosphorus bomb: the phosphorus stuck to the skin, lungs and guts of the victims for ages, continuing to burn and smoulder, and causing prolonged agony."

"Milad Faroukh was an eight-year-old Lebanese boy whose father once had a farm in south Lebanon.The farm had been destroyed by Israeli Bombs, and one of the bombs had fallen on to the field where Milad was playing frisbee with his little brother.His brother was killed outright, and Milad's heel was blown off.My British colleague Dr Paul Morris spent hours and hours patiently trying to talk him out of his withdrawn state and persuading him to eat. At last he succeeded, and Milad started to eat something.The first time Milad smiled, we all thought an angel was smiling in warton Lebanon, so beautiful was his face.
Although he remained shy and reserved, Milad became very brave, and soon started learning how to change his own dressings.As he peeled off the bandages from his heel, a large, raw crater was revealed.It must have been agony, but he he greeted his teeth and bravely washed his wound with hydrogen peroxide before dressing it."

'In the theatre, I operated on a woman and a child.The woman had major surgery for a gunshot wound of the abdomen.It was a difficult operation, as I had to remove a third of her liver, and anastomose-or join together-transected large and small bowels.She was waking up from the anaesthetic, when the child was brought back from the theatre recovery room.I nipped back in to see both of them and remind the nurse in intensive care to give both of them blood transfusion.I was told that the packet of blood being transfused into the woman was the last one.There was no blood left for the child. We had run out.The child had been wounded by a hand grenade chucked into the midst of a group of little kids.He had lost a fair amount of blood through a severed splenic artery, but otherwise he was stable after his operation.Both needed blood and they were of the same blood group.The Palestinian woman overheard the nurses talking to me and asked us to give the blood to the child instead of her.Then she asked for some painkillers and died shortly after.'

And this is just small fragment of the whole journey of a non-muslim doctor in helping our muslims brothers and sisters in Labenon, the Palestinians, living in exile. We have to stop acting ignorant for we will be asked by Malaikatul Munkar and Nakir later for our contributions to our brothers and sisters. And what shall we answer then? Can we dare announce ourselves have hold firmly on eeman when we don't even care to ackowledge the excruciating pain and plights endured by our own people? Spend some minutes of your day, lets pray for them.May the suffer meet an end one day and those living in exiles and the refugees will be able to come back to their confiscated land, Palestine...

Where have your duit raya gone to?

2004-11-29T23:06:00.000+08:00

So, how do u guyz spend your duit raya? keep in the bank? buy things ? this is how i spent mine ; books..
i bought some books which costed me my duit raya..

1. From Beirut to Jerusalem by Dr. Ang Swee Chai.
2. MAYADA ; Daughter of Iraq by Jean Sasson.
3.The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey.

So far, i've just started with the first book..
if any of u guyz have ever read any of these books, perhaps u can share ur thoughts and comments bout them..
from time to time, i'll supply the blog with info's and knowledeges i gained.

Jerawat

2004-11-29T21:13:00.000+08:00

Hmph...minggu lepas ada kawan tanya macam mana nak hilangkan jerawat yang mengganggu kelancaran hidup..kebetulan pulak saya memang ada banyak masa terluang dan memang berminat nak korek petua dan rahsia menghilangkan jerawat..jadi saya telah menemuramah beberapa orang tertentu dan berpengalaman..
ikutilah temuramah2 tersebut :

1.Azman (bukan nama sebenar) 17 tahun.
Pengalaman : menghadapi masalah jerawat yang teruk 2 tahun lalu tapi sekarang tidak lagi!Muka Azman sekarang bersih dan licin..
..(semua temuramah di bawah telah diringkaskan..)
Saya : Apa rahsia ?
Azman : takde rahsia apelah...cuma ada beberapa amalan yang saya kira berkesan..
1. Sentiasa berdoa kepada Allah Yang Maha Esa.
2. Setia pada yang satu, maksudnya kalau guna satu produk hilangkan
jerawat, pastikan sentiasa guna produk tu..jangan tukar2
3. Pakai setiap hari, istiqamah..jangan malas!
4. Sebelum tidur ambil wudhuk; dulu waktu muka berjerawat teruk, saya
terbaca, kalau kita tidur dengan berwudhuk, muka akan nampak lebih muda
dan muka berseri2, saya amlkanlah..
5. Kalau pakai krim jerawat pastikan disapu halus pada muka..kalau sapu
tebal2 nanti jerawat tu tak bernafas, tak boleh sembuh..
6. Akhir sekali, jangan sekali2 kopek atau picit jerawat!!
Saya : Terima kasih..Tahniah kerana usaha saudara berhasil!

2. Fitri (bukan nama sebenar) 15 tahun
Pengalaman : Mengalami masalah jerawat yang agak teruk sejak tahun lalu dan sehingga sekarang masih belum pulih sepenuhnya.
Saya : Apa komen saudara tentang wajah saudara?
Fitri : No komen..
Cuma saya nak sokong cakap Azman, kalau sapu krim jerawat kat muka, sapu
halus2, sapu banyak2 takde guna, membazir je, lainla kalau ada arahan atau
nasihat doktor..
Saya : Terima kasih saudara Fitri, semoga terus berusaha hilangkan jerawat!

3. Pn. Siti Zainab (bukan nama sebenar) 44 tahun
Pengalaman : tidak pernah mengalami masalah jerawat yang teruk semasa remaja
Saya : Mak Cik, boleh mak cik kongsi rahsia mengelakkan jerawat di muka waktu remaja
dulu?
Pn. Siti Zainab : Oh, mak cik masa memude dulu, mak kpd mak cik selalu suruh mak cik
cuci muka dengan air kelapa..nanti muka bersih dan manis...
Saya : Jadi, adakah mak cik masih mengamalkan petua ni?
Pn Siti : Hish, kamu ni..Dulu mak cik duduk kampung, pokok kelapa banyak, sekarang
mana nak cari air kelapa? pokok pun takde..kalo ade pon, sape nak
ngambiknye? Hmph, jangan kate nak ambik kelapa buat cuci muka, santan nak
masak pun sekarang mak cik beli aje kat kedai..
Saya : Ooo, macam tu ye..Jadi, mak cik tak ke turunkan petua mak cik ni kpd anak2
Perempuan mak cik?
Pn. Siti : Ya Allah budak ini!! kan Mak cik dah kate, kelapa pun tak mandang, apa
pulak nak turun2 ni??
Saya : eh.hehe...maafle mak cik..
takpelah, saya pergi dulu, terima kasih banyak2 mak cik...

4. Safura (bukan nama sebenar) 20 tahun
Pengalaman : Telah mengalami masalah jerawat teruk sejak sekolah menengah, dan sampai sekarang masih bertarung denga pelbagai cara untuk hilangkan jerawat2 itu..
Saya : Emph, saudari mengamalkan pelbagai cara untuk hilangkan jerawat..Antaranya?
Safura : Yang asas2 tu macam biasala..cuci muka, krim jerawat, krim asas, bedak
asas..selain tu saya amalkan menepek muka dengan kulit kayu manis yang
dilenyek..selain tu saya amalkan jugak ubat resdung..
Saya : Ooo, tapi jerawat nampaknya degil nak tinggalkan muka saudari. Saya simpati...
Safura : Alaa...tak apa, saya redha..inikan dugaan Allah..kalau Allah nak bagi muka
elok,saya syukur, kalau macam ni, nak buat cemane, sabar jelaa dugaan
Tuhan..
Saya : Emph, betul tu! Itulah yang terbaik..Emph, saudari nak komen tentang
krim jerawat? Menurut saudara Azman dan Fitri, krim mesti disapu halus2..
Safura : Hish, sape kate...Krim jerawat tu kan macam ubat..ubat lagi banyak diambil
kan lagi bagus...
Saya : Ooo..macam tu pulak..jadi, saudari ada apa2 pesanan lagi?
Safura : Aaa, ada2...bagi tips sikit..
1. Jangan banyak berangan!!
2. Kuku pastikan sentiasa pendek
3. Ingat, tangan adalah kawasan badan yang paling banyak bekteria! Jadi
jangan suka pegang2 muka..pastikan tangan bersih dulu..
Saya : O.klah saudari, trima kasih banyak2..

BAik, sekarang dengar pengalaman dari saya sendiri, sebab dulu saya pun pernah gak alami masalah jerawat ni..tapi, Alhamdulillah, sekarang dah o.k..takdelah licin macam muka model, tapi sekurang2nya takde jerawat berketul2 kat muka..
2 tahun dulu, waktu masih di Semesti dan muka berjerawat, Qastho pernah bagi tips yang saya kira paling berguna dan paling mujarab : mintak kepada Allah..

tu yang palinggggg utama..keyakinan dan kepercayaan kpd Allah..mintak kpd Allah dgn penuh yakin tuhan akan perkenankan doa...

Satu lagi, tapi tak pasti yang ni betul2 ada sangkit paut ngan jerawat ke tak...selalulah menangis mengingati Tuhan, biar air mata yang suci tu basuh muka..hkmph, kene buat kajian komposisi air mata..cubalah..

Kemudian, percaya atau tak, muka tu melambngkan hati, kalo hati busuk,, dengki kat orang, selalu kutuk2 orang, tak ingat kat Tuhan, hati diserang penyakit resah, bila hati resah, muka tak berseri..cuba tengok muka alim ulama`, biasanya bersih dan tenang, kenapa? sebabb hati diorang dibersihkan dulu, barulah muka..Tapi ramai antara kita lagi risaukan muka daripada hati..memangla hati kotor manusia tak nampak, muka orang nampak,..tapi Tuhan nampak, macam mana???

Haa..ni lagi satu petua atau pegangan saya..biarkan muka tu pulih sendiri!!!! saya tengok, ramai orang perempuan sekarang sanggup berabis beratus2 beli macam2 produk, krim, jamu, ubat..pastu semua nak ditempekkan ke muka! kalau saya jadi kulit diorang tu, dah mati lemas agaknya...baru nak baik, dah tempek benda lain..tak sempat pun jerawat nak tinggalkan muka, dah sapu lagi, habis macam mana nak bersihkan muka kalau dah asyik tertutup dengan macam2 bahan? dulu saya ada jugak amalkan satu produk ni, tapi kemudian berhenti dan tak pakai apa2 kecuali pencuci muka..pada saya, biarlah jerawat tu terdedah sementara dia nak mati dan tinggalkan muka..dan ia memang berkesan!!kosnya ; hanya pencuci muka tu jelaa...

Tulaa, orang zaman sekarang ni suka menyusahkan diri sendiri..kan kita dah belajar dalam Sains, jerawat disebabkan kotoran yang terbenam di muka..untuk hilangkan jerawat senang jer...buang kekotoran tu..bukannya pegi tutup dengan ntah ape krim..yang pegi pecaya sangat iklan kat t.v tu buat ape?? amalkanlah apa yang dipelajari..Samela jugak macam menutup aurat, dah terang2 diberitahu yang mana aurat perlu ditutup, yang suka2 ati tukar kenapa?? kan menyusahkan diri sendiri...

"Yang demikian itu adalah kerana sesungguhnya Allah sekali2 tidak akan merubah sesuatu nikmat yang telah dianugerahkanNya kepada sesuatu kaum, hingga kaum itu merubah apa yang ada pada diri mereka sendiri, dan sesungguhnya Allah Maha mendengar lagi Maha mengetahui." (Al Anfal;53)

ASalnya kita dikurniakan muka yang bersih, itu satu nikmat bukan??

"Demikian itu disebabkan oleh perbuatan tanganmu sendiri. Sesungguhnya Allah sekali2 tidak menganiaya hambaNya." (Al Anfal ; 51)

Pembentukan Sikap di Alam Sekolah

2004-11-26T09:33:00.000+08:00

Slot di bawah adalah kesinambungan daripada artikel terdahulu "Mentaliti yang sudah berkapuk".

Rujukan daripada buku 'Motivasi Memburu Kejayaan'
oleh Maznah Hamid.Pembentukan Sikap di Alam Persekolahan

Pembentukan Sikap di Alam Sekolah
Terlebih dahulu saya ingin mengingatkan kepada adik-adik yang masih menuntut bahawa kelulusan yang tinggi sahaja bukanlah satu jaminan untuk menjadikan seseorang itu berjaya dalam bidang kerjaya, korporat mahupun keusahawanan.

Pertama sekali saya ingin mengatakan bahawa sekolah, kolej atau pusat pengajian tinggi bukanlah hanya tempat untuk menimba ilmu dan lulus peperiksaan semata-mata untuk mendapatkan sijil atau ijazah sahaja. Tapi pusat pengajian tinggi merupakan tempat untuk kita membangunkan diri kita, tempat untuk membentuk diri menjadi manusia yang sempurna baik dari aspek pemikiran, keyakinan diri, sikap yang wajar, membentuk personaliti, daya kepimpinan dan kemahiran berkomunikasi atau apa jua yang boleh menaikkan nilaian diri kita sebagai seorang insan.

Saya ingin menekankan mengenai kualiti kerana kita tidak mahu walaupun mereka lulus dengan ijazah yang tertinggi di pusat pengajian tinggi tapi dari aspek pembangunan diri, daya kepimpinan, sikap dan personalitinya ternyata sekali mereka gagal.

Apa yang saya lihat, tidak semestinya seseorang yang lulus mendapat 'straight A's' atau mendapat kepujian tertinggi akan pasti berjaya menjadi seorang pemimpin, usahawan atau tokoh korporat yang berjaya, kerana ijazah tertinggi saja bukanlah merupakan jaminan untuk menjadi manusia yang berjaya dan ternama.

Oleh itu saya ingin menyeru kepada semua pelajar-pelajar supaya dapat seimbangkan antara academic intelligence dan practical intelligence kerana di alam pekerjaan kita lebih memerlukan intelek yang praktikal dan kemahiran yang praktik bagi menjamin kualiti dan produktiviti yang mana boleh membawa kejayaan yang lebih besar dan menguntungkan syarikat atau jabatan ataupun perniagaan yang kita kendalikan.

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aqiss..lame ahh tak dgr cite....act aqiss nih bdk dorm aku...yg mmg pndai...olhragewati omega....budak surau..minah bilik stadi..pergh..sume
title dier nak...tp plg tak leh lupe cite2 dier mase form 1 tuh..hehe...hny budak2
dorm je tau...cite kang..nangih lak dier..takpe la..cite2 dh t'capai
pn...hehe..ok la ..aqis...slamat ari raye

Ini adlh testimonial terbaru yang saya terima semlam (friendster.com)
ditulis (dengan penuh keikhlasan??) dan dikirim oleh salah seorang senior saya di Semesti dahulu..
Dengan tidak segannya saya mengakui cita2 tersebut adalah untuk menjadi seorang pengawas..tapi yang tak segan tu sekarang..dulu, sewaktu ting satu, selepas kakak2 dorm tahu cita2 saya ini, teruk saya diketawakan dan dikutuk sehnigga saya jadi malu..cita2 kudus yang asal untuk jadi seorang pemimpin kemudian jadi lupus bersam a kelahiran satu mentaliti yang sangat buruk, jawatan pengawas itu satu kerja hina..hanya org2 gila kuasa(gipang) yang nak jadi pengawas, pengawas itu anjing cikgu(astagfirullah..) dan pengawas itu musuh pelajar..pengawas semua sama je..

kenapa pelajar2 semesti berfikiran begitu?? dan saya percaya, mentaliti ini masih wujud walaupun saya sudah meninggalkan sekolah dan tidak lagi arif mengenai hal-ehwal sekolah..
mungkin kerana mentaliti mereng ini yang telah tertanam sejak ting satu dan mentaliti berasa rendah diri menjadi pengawas maka saya tidak berjaya melaksanakan tanggungjawab saya apabila benar2 dilantik menjadi pengawas sekolah semasa ting 4 dan seterusnya penolong ketua umum semasa ting 5??
(ceh, kelemahan sdr, jgn salahkan persekitaran)

apapun, saya lihat budaya dan mentaliti terpesong ini sudah bernanah dalam Semesti..benar, pengawas mmg wajar dibenci krn melarang pelajar (muda remaja) berbuat menurut sesuka hati.tapi apa dosa seorng pelajar ting satu yang punya azam untuk membentuk diri menjadi seorang pemimpin..mengapa saya ditertawakan atas cita2 murni itu..tidakkah mereka sedar, saya yang ketika itu baru menjejak kaki ke bumi Semesti tidak tahupun senario pengawas di Semesti..yang saya tahu, saya mahu jadi orang terbilang, pemimpin terkehadapan, manusia cemerlang..maka jika benci pada pengawas sedia ada, mengapa lampiaskan pada si kerdil yang baru menanam angan2 membumbung??

Hkikatnya, satu budaya buruk di Semestiyang tidak mampu saya atasi di Semesti dhl ialah budaya senior meracuni pemikiran junior dgn mentaliti2 yang salah dan merober keyakinan dan jati diri..
bukan sedikit pelajar Semesti melangkah dengan yakin tapi keluar dgn jiwa rendah..
Sudahnya, ramai yang peroleh keputusan periksa yang gilang gemilang tetapi tanpa jati diri..
kepandaian setakat tertanam dalam minda tetapi aplikasinya sifar...
MAka, apa yang diperkata oleh motivator Maznah Hamid melahirkan insan seimbang agak mustahil selagi mentaliti ini tidak diubah..

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Wahai pelajar2 Semesti (masih belajar atau bekas) sedarilah hakikat mentaliti dan budaya sonsang ini..
kepada yang punya kekuatan--cikgu2, pemimpin2, dan pelajar2 Semesti yang sayang akan sekolah, ambillah langkah segera..
sedarilah hakikat bahawa sekalipun kita mendapat tempat pertama dalam negara(yang tidak pun pernah tercapai) tetapi dengan pelajar2 yang tidak punya karisma, kita masih bukan siapa2...

Saya sayangkan Semesti.................................

2004-11-26T08:07:00.000+08:00

kenangan zaman dolu2

2004-11-26T08:00:00.000+08:00

this is me

Mentaliti yang sudah berkapuk

2004-11-25T20:58:00.000+08:00

Mentaliti masyarakat kita selalu memandang kejayaan seseorang individu itu berdasarkan akademik dan kerjaya. Berapa keputusan UPSR ? PMR? SPM? Kerja apa? Doktor? Peguam? Akauntan?
Seringkali kita memandang tinggi pencapaian seseorang yang mendapat keputusan cemerlang dalm peperiksaan dan berkerjaya professional, akibatnya kita telah menanam mentaliti yang memandang rendah kpd yg kurng berjaya dalam akademik atau yang berjawatan rendah.
Sajali Mahmood, 40 bekerja sebagai pemandu lori sampah yang saban hari dihantar ke pusat pelupusan sampah. Beliau mempunyai 4 orang anak dan yang bongsu menghidap penyakit sindrom Down.
Menurut Sajali, ada antara saudara-maranya tidak mahu menegur beliau apabila terserempak lantaran memandang rendah kerjayanya itu. Tetapi bagi Sajali, dia tidak berasa malu memandu lori sampah kerana pekerjaan itu adalah pekerjaan mulia dan halal.
“Saya redha dgn ketentuan Ilahi. Biarpun serba kekurangan tetapi masih ada keluarga, ada rumah untuk berlindung, ada kelengkapan hidup walaupun tidak sesempurna mana. Paling penting, masih upaya beribadat kepada Allah, mengucapkan rasa syukur kepadaNya kerana diberi peluang bernafas dan mencari rezeki.”
Cuba tanya pada diri, seandainya Sajali tidak melakukan kerja itu, apakan terjadi kpd sistem pembuangan sampah? Sanggupkah kita menggantikan tempat beliau?

Kita harus menghentikan memandang terlalu tinggi pada kejayaan akademik dan kerjaya professional. Ramai antara kita memperlekehkan profession guru, mereka yang memperoleh keputusan yang bagus cenderung memilih kerjaya professional, kurang yang mahu menjadi guru atas alasan gaji yang rendah dan suasana kerja tidak eklusif.
Hakikatnya, berdasarkan pengalaman penulis, selepas mendapat keputusan peperiksaan yang bagus dalam SPM, ia tidaklah begitu berpengaruh dalam menentukan gemilangnya masa depan. Sebaliknya yang lebih utama adalah jati diri, keyakinan, dan semangat untuk menimba ilmu. Ada rakan yang memasuki maktab untuk menjadi guru amat senang dgn haluan hidupnya itu. Ada rakan yang sering gagal tetapi tak pernah putus asa mencapai cita2.

Sekiranya kita meletakkan mentaliti bahawa individu yang cemerlang itu adalah individu yang tinggi kerjaya, maka apakah kita berani menyatakan bahawa hanya anak2 mereka yang berkerjaya professional akan meneruskan kerjaya ibu-bapa mereka? Anak-anak penoreh getah tidak boleh jadi doktor? Anak-anak nelayan tidak boleh jadi usahawan? Mereka yang gagal di peringkat diploma atau yang memperoleh keputusan yang teruk dalam SPM tidak akn jadi orang berjaya? Mereka yang peroleh semua A1 dlam SPM sentiasa lebih tahu dari yang tidak peroleh keputusan seumpama itu? Sering penulis malu kerana ada insan yang lebih berani dan tinggi keyakinan berbanding penulis biarpun tidak mendapat pendidikan yang tinggi.
Jangan sangka seorang suri rumah yang duduk di rumah berbakti untuk suami dan ank-anak
tidak punya ilmu yang tinggi, lebih dari seorng yang berkerjaya.Ilmu itu dinilai dari tingginya tempat belajar atau dari kebahagiaan?

Punca wujudnya sistem kelas atau kasta dahulukala adalah kerana membezakan manusia berdasarkan jawatan , status dan hartanya. Jadi jauhkanlah diri kita drpd memupuk pemikiran cara kasta ini. Hakikatnya Tuhan telah menentukan kejayaan dan kegagalan dalam hidup kita sebelum kita dilahirkan.Mungkin kita ditakdirkan menjadi seorang tukang jahit untuk berbakti kpd masyarakat. Mungkin kita ditakdirkan menjadi seorang penjual mee untuk memberi kemudahan kepada orang lain. Mungkin kita ditakdirkan menjadi doktor untuk merawat kesusahan orang lain. Tetapi, kesimpulannya tetap sama, kita bekerja untuk memudahkan hidup sesama insan. Kalau yang cemerlang itu hanya yang berjawatan tinggi, habis siapa yang nak menoreh getah untuk bekalkan getah untuk membuat tayar? Siapa pula nak menangkap ikan untuk dimakan ?(Orang2 korporat, menteri2 makan ikan yang ditangkap oleh tangan nelayan...)Tuhan itu Maha Adil lagi Maha Mengetahui....

Berhentilah mengagungkan kerjaya dan akademik semata2..Tuhan menyuruh kita menuntut ilmu setinggi mungkin, Nabi tercinta juga pernah bersabda tuntutlah ilmu walau sampai ke negeri Cina, tetapi ilmu ini adalah untuk mencari hakikat kebenaran dan mencari redha Ilahi, bukannya jawatan besar dan harta untuk kesenangan dunia....
Jadi kepada mahasiswa2 yang menganggur selepas peroleh ijazah, usah malu2 melakukan kerja yang rendah, selagi kerja itu halal, daripada melepek di rumah mengharap suap mak dan ayah. Bermulalah dari bawah, kerana usaha dari bawah akan mengekalkan kita lama di atas.
Wallahualam...

Food ; Halal or Haram?

2004-11-25T20:57:00.000+08:00

One reason why when we pray to God our prayer is not granted ; the food we eat. Nowadays, there are lots of sources of food, restaurants, and factories. Fast food restaurants such as KFC, McDonald, Pizza Hut, Kenny Rogers, have often arouse controversion on the status of the food ; either halal or not. Me myself, have observe lots of articles from unknown sources claiming the food there are non halal. But still, for the speculation has not been varified by government or Jabatan Kemajuan Islam Malaysia (JAKIM), the controversion is ignored and societies, muslim or non muslim continue eating at those places.
Lately, a chicken processing factory in Selangor was ambushed by local authority for mixing non-halal meat (ham, pig) with chicken. Officer from the Authority admitted that there are hundreds of illegal factories in Selangor. Once, an illegal factory manufacturing firecrackers and mercun exploded and killed many people.
However, the recent case of non-halal meat is much more intriguing. True, no life is taken, but the fact that lots of non halal meat are served to muslim is very provoking and despairing. Just imagine, if the factory has operated for so long, how many Muslim have eat the non-halal meat?
In reality, not only factories, proprietors of restaurants and other exclussive eating places have not really secure the halalness of the food served. Not long before, a Chinese restaurant (non muslim) in Taman Tun Doktor Ismail has displayed halal signs in the premise but when investigated by authority from a nearby mosque, shockingly, the food were found non-halal! The Halal signs were retrieved, but how many Muslim customers have eat non halal food there??
Not only in restaurants, thousands of others including five star hotels and stalls have taken the halal logo for granted. From author’s own experience, a restaurant displaying HALAL logo but at the same time the shop sell liquor!! Nauzubillah..
Plus, retailers and shopping complexes also take this issue lightly, they are not sensitive on the halal-haram issue. Canned food which are non halal are arranged in the same shelves as halal food. Apart from that, in a well known shopping complex, meat(halal) and non halal meat are separated by simply putting a ‘non halal’ sign between them. Those meats are suppose to be separated in different places. If they can be put side by side in open place, it is not impossible then for them to be kept in the same freezer, which is out of customer’s view.
We, as part of the society, cannot forever depend on JAKIM or government to make sure this issue is completely addressed. JAKIM has only 70 authorized officers, thus it is impossible to checkeach and every premise in Malaysia. This issue is everybody’s responsibility and obligation. The hukum in Islam is very clear and simple, if there is a single doubt for the status of a particular food or beverage, the food by itself is declared as haram to the person.
Even if the HALAL logo displayed is as big as a billboard, as long as the feeling of doubt is presents, we still cannot eat the food. If we feel unsure on meat sell in a market, don’t buy there. As a customer, we have the right to choose. This issue is very much paramount, take it seriously.

(Based on ‘I’ Magazine, November 2004 issue )

Puteri Gunung Ledang; Legenda Cinta Jalanan??

2004-11-25T20:51:00.000+08:00

Akhirnya baru2 ni berjaya jugak menonton Puteri Gunung Ledang selepas tertangguh berkali2..Asal semangat mmg berkobar2 slps diberitau filem ni menarik..
Betul, cerita ni mmg menarik, dari sudut bahasa mmg klasik apatah lagi slot2 pertemuan Hang Tuah dgn Gusti Putri Retno Dumilah..mmg jiwang habis....

Setapak langkah
Dualah langkah ingatan kanda pada dinda...
(Hang Tuah)

Adinda bersumpah
Jikalau kanda tidak kembali, adinda akan menyusul kanda
Menginjak pada tanah yang sama
Bernafas pada udara yang sama
(Gusti Putri)

Berlayar berbelok-belok
Sauh dibongkar di tempat tenang
Yang tinggal hati tak elok
Yang pergi hati tak senang..
(Pantun dr Hang Tuah utk Gusti Putri)

Syarat2 pelamaran Gusti Putri..
7 sulam kata semuanya.
Pertama
Air mata dara yang tidak berdarah
7 tempayan banyaknya
jawapan: air mata anak dara sunti 7 tempayan
Kedua
Pinang bukan kahwin tidak tua
Merah darahnya
7 tempayan banyaknya
Jawapan : 7 tempayan air pinang muda
Ketiga
Merangkak bebas di dataran
Darah juga kehendaknya
Sifatnya 7 dulang banyaknya
Jawapan : 7 talam hati hama
Keempat
Terbang bebas di udara
Darah juga kehendaknya
Sifatnya 7 dulang banyaknya
Jawapan : 7 talam hati nyamuk
Kelima
Darah putih rakyat untuk menambat darah kuning dari tapak ke takhta
Jawapan : Jambatan perak dari istana Sultan Mahmud ke puncak Gunung Ledang
Keenam
Darah merah rakyat untuk menambat darah kuning dari tapak ke takhta
Jawapan : Jambatan emas dari istana ke puncak Gunung Ledang
Ketujuh
Darah seguntang tetap mengalir
Badan bersilih menanti
Sebatil
Jawapan : Semangkuk darah putera sultan

Memang jiwang..agaknya kalau saya nak kahwin sok lusa letak syarat cam ni alamatnya tak kawinla sampai ke tua..
Heh..yang kelakarnya Sultan Mahmud sanggup nak bunuh anak sendiri utk dptkan darah Raja Muda semangkuk..kalau Gusti Putri hidup zmn sekarang mesti dia x letak syarat yang ketujuh tu sbb skarang boleh derma darah secara selamat..nak berapa mangkuk Gusti??

Tapi yang agak menyedihkan ialah kelengedaan Hang Tuah macam diperkotak-katikkan..
Setahu dan seingat saya, Hang Tuah itu walau apa jua terjadi tetap taat setia kpd Sultan..tidak sekali2 mnderhaka..
Tapi dalm filem ini Hang Tuah telah mengetepikan arahan sultan kerana cintanya terhadap Gusti Putri...ke mana hilangnya kemachoan Hang tuah dan kesetiaanya kpd raja??
Bukankah Hang Tuah bergadai nyawa dan cinta kpd Tun Teja demi permintaan sultan??
Bukankah Hang Tuah itu sanggup membunuh kawan sendiri(Hang Jebat) juga atas perintah Sultan??
Jadi mengapa sekali ini Hang Tuah begitu lembik di hadapan Gusti Putri itu??
Mungkin pengarah cuba mencipta kelainan dlm perwatakan Hang Tuah , mungkin juga cuba menyesuaikan dgn konsep masyarakat hari ini yang lebih mementingkan perasaan dan nilai kasih sayang( cinta) dari sgl2nya..
Tetapi mesej ini tidak sewajarnya disampaikan dgn cara merubah pesepsi rakyat terhadap seorang legenda negara..

Takkan Melayu hilang di dunia....
(Tetapi Melayu boleh hilang taat kpd pemerintah??)
(Tetapi Melayu boleh tunduk kpd cinta??)

Sungguh sedih melihat orang yang kaya ilmu dan pengalaman tewas kpd cinta..

Terdapat sedikit percanggahan antara filem ini dgn fakta sebenar ( hakikatnya legenda Putri Gunung Ledang ini mmg boleh dikategori sbg mitos shj..) pun menurut pembelajaran dalam kelas dan pembacaan serba ringkas kisah Puteri Gunung Ledang ini di sekolah dulu, kononnya hanya Tun Mamat seorang serta beberapa pengikut setia yang naik ke puncak berjumpa Tuan Puteri, Laksamana Hang Tuah tidak dinyatakan tetapi ini bertentangan dengan plot dalam filem..hmm..mungkin kerana ia mitos maka boleh dipusing di sana sini..

Walaubagaimanapun, filem ini adalah percubaan yang cukup baik bersesuaian dgn status perfileman negara..dan juga langkah ke arah memelihara legenda negara..lakonan juga mantap.M.Nasir, Tiara, Dato’ Rahim Razali, Alex komang, Sofia Jane, Adlin Aman Ramli( sultan Mahmud ni..best2..) Khir Rahman (Tun Mamat...best2.....) Sabri Yunus, Man Bai..Radhi Khalid..
Banyak pengajaran...
Sokonglah industri perfileman tempatan..
Beli yang original..

Sayunya di hari raye..

2004-11-19T13:30:00.000+08:00

1 raye..
saat paling sayu menjadi seorang perempuan..

Tak tau kenapa, tapi hati ini mmg tak mau solat jamak Zuhur dan Asar..
Petang raye pertama, menziarahi rumah Opah Nyah dan rumah Tok Cik..Ingatkan sekejap jer, rupe2 melarat sampai ke ptg.hati dah resah gelisah..Solat Asar belum lagi ni..pujuk hati, sempat balik rumah Opah dulu sebelum Maghrib..tapi Tuhan tak izinkan begitu..Jam dah pukul 6.30..masih dok bersembang di rumah Tok Cik..
Naseb baik, rupe2 nye ayah pon tak buat jamak, ayah ajak ke surau kampung sementara masih ada masa..sampai di surau kampung saya terpusing2 mencari tempat wudhuk perempuan..tak jumpe..masa tu nak menangis rasanya..ayah dah mula solat..saya masih terkial2..jam dah pukol 6.40..dalam gelisah tu saya berdoa pada Allah jauhkanlah saya dari dosa yang tidak saya ingini utk berlaku..
kemudian kuatkan tekad ambil wudhuk di tempat lelaki..naseb takde org dtg utk Maghrib lagi..Sayunya hati jadi perempuan..nak solat pon susah..hmph, harap semua lelaki faham pengorbanan dan kesusahan yg ditanggung oleh kaum perempuan.dan btp perempuan itu lebih hampir kpd dosa drpd lelaki..jadi peliharalah ibu, kakak, adik perempuan , isteri, sahabat anda...
dan kpd semua perempuan, selagi upaya peliharalah maruah diri dan agama...
dan kpd diri sdr, rukhsah itu Allah sediakan utk mengelak perkara seumpama ini berlaku, jadi gunakanlah ia sebaik mungkin...

"sesungguhnya org2 yang telah disediakan kemudahan tetapi tidak mahu menggunakan kemudahan itu adalah orang yang suka membuang masa.."

raye..

2004-11-19T12:55:00.000+08:00

Syukur Alhamdulillah, raye kali ini telah selamat dilalui di bumi mlaysia yang aman damai tanpa perang seperti di Palestin atau Afghan..ahli keluarga semua lngkap, anggota tubuh cukup sihat walafiat..makanan melimpah ruah, nasi impit, kuah kacang, rendang, lemang, kuih-muih..sahabat2 semua masih sejahtera seperti dulu.(terima kaseh kpd rakan2 bekas semesti yg masih ingt dan sudi utk hadir ke rumah baru2 ni..)

Malangnya, kemeriahan kita di sini x dapat dinikmati bersama seluruh penduduk Islam di seluruh dunia, muslimin dan muslimat di Palestin pasti masih berduka dgn pemergian pemimpin Agung Yasser Arafat..marilah sama2 kita sedekahkan Fatihah semoga segala pengorbanan Allahyarham akan mendapat pembalasan yang sewajarnya olah Allah yang Maha Esa..

Raye kali ini mengajar saye bnyk perkara baru..sinar kali ini mmg berbeza dgn sinar2 yg terdahulu..kali pertama membeli baju raye sdr, walaupon dikutuk oleh kakak dan ibu tapi ttp puas hati, skrg2nya itu adalah pilihan saye sdr..

Raye kali ni juga mula belajar pakai kasut tumit tinggi..ceh, susah jugak, jalan pon lembap semacam je..tapi, demi membuat perubahan dan mengayukan diri saya cuba juga..dan bertransformasilah daripada perempuan yg dulu suka berlari di pdg dgn berkaki ayam kpd perempuan yg lebih feminin lagi bergaya..

Raye kali ni juga mengaktifkan diri merapatkan hubungan silaturrahim dgn sdr mara, terutama yang lebih veteran dan yg tinggal jauh, jrg2 jumpa..baru skrg nak hafal nama adik-bradik arwah Tok, nama adik-bradik opah, nma ank2 along, cucu alang, baru nak ingat nama anak2 Opah Nyah..baru skrg rajin bersembang2 dgn mak2 sedare..dulu2 asyek dok main je dgn sepupu sepapat..dah besar2 ni kena buat anjakan paradigma siket..ceh, melekat jugak loghat perak..kdg2 rase ada terbanyak cakap, seperti membebel pula rasanya.ahh, ghasaklah..

Yang pasti, raye kali ni menyedarkan btp cepat mase berlalu..tau2 kak Huda yg baru nikah bulan 5 ari tu dah sarat mengandung, tau2 cucu Co dah masuk 7 org, tau2 Kak Atun dah lahirkan anak perempuan sulung nama Alia Maisara, tau2 Azhan dah keje dan dah mula bagi duit raye.(trime kaseh pade duit raye yg bnyk tu..), tau2 Lah dah belajar kat Maktab Temenggung Ibrahim Johor, tau2 rupe2nye si Amat selama ni belajar kat Politeknik shah Alam, dekat je ngan tempat saye belajar..tau2 je ramai yg dah makin tembam(termasukla penulis.hehe..)..kesimpulannya tau2 je segl2nya dah berubah...

Tapi di sebalik sgl perubahan yg nampak tibe2 ni pasti ada kisah suka duka di sebaliknya..saye juga turut merasai sgl perubahan ini..scr tiba2 saje boleh berada di puncak kejayaan dan scr tibe2 juga boleh tersungkur di kaki kegagalan..baru skrg mengerti perumpamaan hidup ini bagaikan roda..sekejap di atas, sekejap di bawah..tapi itukan fitrah..

cuma di mana diri kita jatuh boleh kita kawal, seandainya kita kayuh di jalan yang kotor dan berlumpur, pastinya diri kita terpalit kotor lumpur apabila kita berada di bawah, sebaliknya jika kita ikut jalan yang lurus, selamat, dan bersih, pabila kita menyembah bumi, kita masih pertahankan diri kita yang bersih dan suci..

Raye mmg seronok, tapi sebenarnya raye adalah masa paling afdal utk muhasabah diri, koreksi diri.apakah ada perubahan (peningkatan) dalam diri kita dari sudut akhlak, ilmu, dan ibadat.Andainya masih ditakuk lama, akuilah bhw kita telah menyia2kan setahun yg Tuhan kurniakan pade kite..
Selamat Hari Raya semua....

P/s: menulis mmg mudah, melaksanakan belum tentu..semoga apa yg saya tuliskan ini saya amalkan...Aminnn..

risau pada yang sia-sia..

2004-11-08T17:32:00.000+08:00

Selama ni dgr lagu DEMI MASA oleh Raihan sekadar mendengar..rentaknya yang sayu itu mmg menusuk jiwa..liriknya yang indaH terkesan di hati..tapi pemahamannya dalam jiwa??saya tak pasti..yang pastinya, prakikallnya mmg tak ade dlm hidup sehari2...
ingt 5 perkara, sebelum 5 perkara..
tiba2 lirik dan melodi terlintas dlm hati seusai menunaikan solat...
saya bertanya pada diri...
muda sebelum tua...kau sedang di alam remaja bukan??
sihat sebelum sakit...kau sedang sihat dan tak pernh sakit teruk bukan???
lapang sebelum sempit...kau ade bnyk mase lapang yg tersgtlah lapang bukan???
kaya sebelum miskin...kau tidak dibelenggu kemiskinan malah harta dan kesenanganmu melimpah ruah bukan??
hidup sebelum mati...kau masih bernyawa bukan???????

sekarang baru terasa betapa lagu ini ditujukan kepada diri saya sendiri..seelum ini saya suka memberi komen dan pendapat terhadap org lain..suka memperkecilkan orang lain...tapi sekarang bila saya menilai diri sdr bru sedar bhw saya dah membazir seluruh hidup pade perkare sia2....

baru terasa waktu remaja kian suntuk..baru sedar penyakit boleh menyerang bila2 masa, baru perasan saya tak pernah walau sesaat merasai kemiskinan, baru sedar saya ada bnykkkkkk sgt masa lapang yang tak tahu bila akan tempuh kesibukan....dan baru tersedar kematian boleh dtg bila2 masa je...

kemudian bila saya mengingati rasa gelisah dlm jiwa, baru saya sedar bhw apa yg saya risaukan itu semuanya adalah urusan dunia semata2 yg tak tahu hujungnya...sedangkan perkara yang pasti berlaku..amat sikit saya merisauinya...amat mudah utk risau bila keputusan ujian jatuh..tapi amat susah utk risau bila solt tak menemui kekhusyukan...amat mudah utk risau bila tak upaya menguasai bahasa inggeris seprti orang lain, tapi amat susah utk risau bila melakukan dosa..amat mudah utk risau bila seolah2 menyakiti hati rakan..tapi amt susah utk risau bila terang2 menyakiti hati ibu dan ayah....amat mudah utk risau bila kehilangan sesuatu kelebihan yang sya miliki sebelum ini, tetapi amt susah utk risau bila tahu diri ini belum menguasai cinta agung pada Tuhan...

Bagaimanapun, saya sedar sbg mnusia yang serba lemah dan kekurangan saya tak upaya mengelak sgl kealpaan ini..cuma saya berdoa pada Tuhan semoga segala kerisauan yang sia2 ini akan hilang dan diganti dgn kerisauan yg boleh membawa kebahagiaan kelak....

6 th November 2004...i lost my tooth

2004-11-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

today pa,syiqin, azie, syai n k-rah (6 jahanam) came to my house...glad to see them all again after quite a long time...haha..they were all still the same, not much changes..
when they arrived at the front guard house, they called me..it was raining, i couldn't hear their voice clearly, plus i wanted to see where they were, so, i hastily went out the balcony with handphone in my hand, still talking to azie, when wooopss!! the rain has poured down to the blcony all over, it was slippery, and...and...and there i went..grovelled on the blcony floor!!!and my teeth hit the hard tiles..and one of my incissors broke!! mua..mua...hehe..actually it was just litte pieces of the tooth..but still, my tooth was deformed(geez, was that the right word to use??deformed??)fortunately, i managed to save the handphone and still with some pieces of the tooth in my mouth i said,"hello..korang kat mane??aku dah patahkan gigi aku ni.." hehe...how shocked azie was...i bet she heard the gigantic sound i made when i fell down...kedebang!!kruk...kruk...(<--sound of tooth broken)
well, i guess i must have commited some sins the day before...yeah..i guess i talked too much..maybe i've talked bad bout somebody n this was the payback i received...huuuu...I hope this incident@accident would wash some of my sins away...

Anyway,i did enjoyed the rest of the day..went to subang parade where i bought baju raya..hehe..first time woo i buy by myself..usually my mom always choose for me..

okey..i've learnt my lesson today..
and to all my frens..have a safe journey back to your places..

perempuan Islam terakhir..

2004-11-06T00:40:00.000+08:00

Baru2 ni saya ada terbaca dari blog salah seorang saudara seagama..Beliau membicarakan tentang kedudukan dan tanggungjawab perempuan terutama perempuan yang berkerjaya pada zaman mutakhir ini...benar, beliau menyaran agar semua perempuan2 muslim menuntut ilmu sampai peringkat master, phd..tapi mempersoalkan pulak peprempuan2 UTM yg ke North Pole utk buat kajian kat sana..dari huraian beliau yang pjg lebar tu dapat saya simpulkan bhw beliau tak berapa selesa dgn situasi ni..katanya sebaik tempat perempuan adalah memelihara dan mendidik anak,..suamilah yang patut keluar rumh buat kerja2 berat mencari nafkah..

kata beliau lagi, Tuhan pandang laki dan perempuan itu sama sahaja..tetapi masing2 ada tanggungjawab sdr..tanggungjawab lelaki memikul yg berat, bukannya perempuan..
ye, mmg ada benarnya....

cuma, saya ade sikit tak setuju bila beliau semacam tak suka penuntut2 perempuan utm yg ke utara dunia buat kajian..pada saya, mmg bnr perempuan itu kena uruskan rumah tngga..(menurut pendapat cik suhana(kwn baik), kenapa pulak mesti perempuan je yg uruskan anak2, laki x boleh ke? bukanke tggjwb suami isteri tu spttnya setara..jd apa salahnya kalau lelaki yg jg anak, isteri pegi keluar kejap buat reserach??)
hmm...saya rasa pendapat cik su ni ada kekuatannya juga walaupun scr jujurnya saya percaya bhw layanan dan didikan dr seorg ibu itu amtlah berbeza dr layanan seorg ayah..(sambung cik su lagi, seorg anak itu tak sepatutnya mempunyai perasaan yg berbeza2 terhadap ayah atau ibu)...

ape yang saya nak sampaikan kat sini ialah pada semua lelaki2 yang sama pendapat seperti saudara kita ni, sepatutnya korang kena tanye pada diri sendiri dulu, kenapa perempuan2 ni yg dapat peluang ke North Pole? kenapa bukan lelaki? adakah sebab diorang yang mmg teringin sgt nak buat kerje berat mcm ni ataukah diorang saje yg menyahut cabaran?? mana pegi lelaki2 lain??
opps..sebelum saya dilabel kaki prejudis..saya nak ingtkan, saya bukan pejuang hak2 wanita mahupun penyokong revolusi..

cuma nak menyedarkan kaum Adam sekalian..jgn sibuk mempersoalkan bhw hari hampir Qiamat asbab kemunculan ramai perempuan2 jd pemimpin, asbab ramai perempuan bekerjaya besar, asbab ramai perempuan buat kerja berat..tapi persoalkanlah kenapa kaum lelaki membiarkan semue senarai kerja ini jatuh ke tangan perempuan..

Analoginya senang jer...kita semua tahu..atr tanda2 hampirnya Qiamat itu ialah bil perempuan melbihi bil lelaki..tapi ini tak bermakna kita kena bunuh bayi2 perempuan yg baru lahir semata2 nak kurangan jumlah perempuan kat muka bumi ni...samalah dgn situasi sekarang, bila ramai perempuan jadi pemimpn, takkan kita nak gulingkan diorang semata2 ia bertentngan dgn norma agama?? sepatutya kaum lelaki yang berusaha lebah keras utk jadi yg terbaik spy semua kedudukn tertinggi milik mereka...

hmmph....dalam kelas saya sekarang nisbah perempuan kpd lelaki ialah 14:1 (sbb mmg ade sorg laki jer dan 14 perempuan)..hmph, sape nak jawab yob?? kalau setakat alasan lelaki lebeh minat ambik engineering tu tak payahlaaaa...hehe..ada jugak member laki bagi alasan tak mau ambik medic sbb tak suka baca bnyk2..kalau engin bnyk berfikir dan bemain dgn kreativiti...o.klaa labu, suke atilaa nak bagi alasan ape..nanti kalo doktor laki nisbah ngan doktor pompuan 1:14 nanti jgn komplen bnyk2 o.k.....

bacalah....

2004-11-06T00:30:00.000+08:00

Kisah ini saya kutip dari nummerzweiv.2.blogspot.com..blog ini milik saudara Iznan Shamsuddin......

Kata Ibnu Mubarak, Khalid bin Ma'dan berkata kepada
Mu'az:

"Mohon diceritakan satu Hadis yang terdengar olehmu
dari Rasulullah SAW. yang dihafal olehmu dan setiap
hari dingat-ingat olehmu lantaran kerasnya hadis itu
dan betapa halus dan dalamnya maksud hadis tersebut.
Hadis manakah yang menurut pendapat tuan yang paling
penting?"

Maka jawabnya(Mu'az): "Baiklah..aku akan sampaikan"
Kemudian beliau menangis dahulu, lama sekali
menangisnya itu, selanjut beliau berkata:
"Emh,..sungguh rindu sekali kepada Rasulullah, ingin
segera bersua dengan baginda." Kemudian beliau berkata
lagi:

"Ketika menghadap Rasulullah SAW. beliau menunggangi
unta dan beliau menyuruhku untuk naik di belakang
beliau; kemudian berangkatlah aku bersama beliau
dengan mengendarai unta tersebut dan beliau menengadah
ke langit, kemudian bersabda dengan maksud:
"Puji syukur ke hadirat Allah Yang Berkehendak kepada
makhlukNya menurut kehendakNya wahai Mu'adz!
Jawabku: "Ya! Sayyidal Mursalin."
Sabda beliau:
Sekarang aku akan menceritakan satu cerita kepadamu
yang apabila dihafal olehmu, akan berguna bagimu, tapi
kalau diabaikan olehmu, maka kamu tidak akan mempunyai
hujjah kelak di hadapan Allah.
Hai Mu'adz, Allah itu menciptakan tujuh Malaikat
sebelum dia menciptakan langit dan bumi; tiap satu ada
satu Malaikat yang menjaga pintu; dan tiap-tiap pintu
itu dijaga oleh Malaikat Penjaga Pintu, menurut
kadarnya pintu dan keagungannya.
Jadi, Malaikat yang memelihara amalnya sihamba, yang
mencatatkan amalnya sihamba itu naik ke langit dengan
membawa amalnya sihamba yang bersinar-sinar cahayanya
bagaikan cahaya matahari. Setelah sampai ke langit
Pertama, Malaikat Hafazdzah yang menganggap amalnya
sihamba itu banyak, memuji kepada amal-amal tersebut,
tapi setelah sampai kepada pintu langit Pertama; kata
Malaikat Penjaga Pintu Pertama kepada Malaikat
Hafadzah:
"Nah tamparkan amal ini ke muka (wajah) pemiliknya,
saya ini penjaga tukang mengumpat, saya diperintahkan
untuk tidak menerima tukang mengumpat orang lain itu
masuk, jangan sampai melewatiku untuk mencapai langit
yang berikutnya."
Kemudian keesokan harinya ada lagi Malaikat Hafadzah
naik ke langit dengan membawa amal Sholih yang
berkilauan cahayanya, yang dianggap oleh Malaikat
Hafadzah begitu sangat banyaknya serta dipuji; begitu
sampai ke langit Kedua (yang lulus/selamat dari langit
pertama kerana si pemiliknya tidak suka mengumpat).
Kata Malaikat di langit kedua: .."Berhentilah dan
tamparkanlah amal ini ke wajah pemiliknya sebab dengan
amalnya itu dia mengharap keduniaan, Allah
memerintahkan kepadaku harus menahan amal ini jangan
sampai melepasi langit yang lain." Maka Malaikat
semuanya melaknat kepada orang yang tersebut sampai
petang.
Ada lagi Malaikat Hafadzah yang naik ke langit dengan
membawa amal hamba Allah yang sangat memuaskan, penuh
dengan sedekah, puasa dan bermacam-macam kebaikan yang
oleh Malaikat Hafadzah dianggap demikian banyaknya dan
dipuji; tapi apabila sampai ke langit Ketiga kata
Malaikat Penjaga Langit Ketiga:
"Berhentilah, tamparkanlah kewajah pemiliknya amal
ini, saya Malaikat Penjaga Kibir(orang yang
sombong/angkuh). Allah memerintahkan kepadaku agar
amal ini tidak melepasi pintuku, jangan sampai ke
langit berikutnya, salahnya sendiri dia takabbur
kepada orang lain di dalam perkumpulannya."
Singkatnya, Malaikat Hafadzah naik lagi ke langit
dengan membawa amal hamba yang lain, bersinar bagaikan
bintang yang paling besar, suaranya bergemuruh, penuh
dengan tasbih, dengan puasa, sholat, haji dan umrah.
Begitu sampai langit yang keempat; Malaikat Penjaga
langit Keempat itu berkata:
"Berhentilah jangan dilanjutkan, tamparkan amal ini ke
wajah pemiliknya; saya ini Penjaga Ujub, Allah
memerintahkan kepadaku agar amal ini jangan sampai
melepasi, sebab jika dia beramal selalu ujub."
Kemudian naik lagi Malaikat Hafadzah dengan membawa
amal hamba yang diiringi seperti pengantin perempuan
yang diiringi kepada suaminya, begitu sampai ke langit
kelima membawa amal yang begitu bagus, seperti jihad,
ibadah Haji, Umrah, cahayanya berkilauan bagaikan
matahari. Kata Malaikat Penjaga Langit Kelima:
"Saya ini penjaga sifat hasad/dengki, nah dia itu yang
amalnya demikian bagus suka hasud/iri hati kepada
orang lain atas kenikmatan Allah yang diberikan
kepadanya; jadi dia itu membenci kepada Yang
meridhokan, (kepada Allah). Saya diperintahkan oleh
Allah jangan membiarkan amalnya itu untuk melepasi
pintuku ke pintu yang lain."
Kemudian Malaikat Hafadzah naik lagi dengan membawa
amal yang lain, membawa wudhu yang sempurna, sholat
yang banyak, puasa, haji umrah sehingga sampailah ke
langit yang Keenam; kata Malaikat penjaga pintu itu:
"Saya ini Malaikat Penjaga Rahmat, nah amal yang
seolah-olah bagus ini tamparkanlah ke wajah
pemiliknya, salahnya sendiri bahawa dia itu belum
pernah mengasihi orang lain, apabila ada orang
mendapat musibah, maka dia merasa senang. Saya
diperintahkan oleh Allah bahawa amalnya ini jangan
melepasiku, supaya jangan sampai kepada pintu yang
lain."
Dan naik lagi Malaikat Hafadzah ke langit dengan
membawa amal si hamba berupa bermacam-macam sedekah,
puasa, sholat, jihat dan wara'; suaranya pun
bergemuruh bagaikan geledek, cahayanya bagaikan kilat.
Begitu sampai kepada langit yang ke tujuh, kata
Malaikat yang menjaga langit yang Ketujuh itu:
"Saya ini Penjaga Suma'ah(ingin masyhur), sesungguhnya
sipengamal ini ingin termasyhur dalam
kumpulan-kumpulan dan selalu ingin tinggi di saat
berkumpul dengan kawan-kawannya yang sebaya dan ingin
mendapat pengaruh dari para pemimpin, Allah
memerintahkan kepadaku agar amalnya itu jangan sampai
melepasiku dan jangan sampai kepada yang lain, dan
tiap-tiap amal yang tidak bersih kerana Allah, maka
itulah balasannya. Allah itu tidak akan menerima dan
mengabulkan kepada amalnya orang-orang yang riya."
Kemudian Malaikat Hafadzah itu naik lagi dengan
membawa amalnya hamba seperti sholat, zakat, puasa,
haji, umrah, akhlak yang baik dan pendiam tidak banyak
bercakap kosong, selalu berzikir kepada Allah;
kemudian diiringi oleh Malaikat ke langit ketujuh
sehingga sampai menerobos hijab-hijab dan sampailah ke
hadirat Allah. Para Malaikat itu berdiri di hadapan
Allah. Semua menyaksikan bahawa amal ini adalah amal
yang sholeh, yang diikhlaskan kerana Allah.
Tetapi firman Allah:
"Kalian Hafadzah, pencatat amal hambaKu, sedang Akulah
yang mengintip hatinya, amal yang ini tidak kerana
Aku, yang dimaksudkan olehnya itu adalah selain
daripadaKu; tidak diikhlaskan kepadaKu. Aku lebih
mengetahui daripada kamu apa yang dimaksudkan olehnya
dengan amalnya itu. Aku laknat mereka, menipu kepada
orang lain,dan juga menipu kepadamu(Malaikat-malaikat
Hafadzah) tapi Aku ini tidak akan tertipu olehnya. Aku
ini Yang Paling Tahu akan hal yang ghaib-ghaib. Akulah
yang melihat isi hatinya, dan tidak akan samar
kepadaKu setiap apa pun yang samar, tidak akan
tersembunyi bagiKu setiap apa pun yang tersembunyi.
PengetahuanKu atas apa yang telah terjadi sama dengan
pengetahuanKu akan apa yang bakal terjadi.
PengetahuanKu atas apa yang telah lewat sama dengan
pengetahuanKu kepada yang akan datang. PengetahuanKu
kepada orang-orang yang terdahulu sebagaimana
PengetahuanKu kepada orang-orang yang kemudian.
Aku Lebih Tahu atas apa pun yang lebih samar dari pada
rahsia. Bagaimana bisa hambaKu dengan amalnya itu
menipuKu, bisa juga mereka itu menipu kepada
makhluk-makhluk yang tidak tahu, sedangkan Aku ini
Yang Mengetahui kepada yang ghaib-ghaib.
LaknatKu tetap kepadanya."
Kata ketujuh Malaikat dan 3000 Malaikat yang
menyertai: "Ya Tuhan, dengan demikian tetaplah
LaknatMu dan laknat kami semua bagi mereka."
Maka semua yang ada di langit mengucapkan: "Tetaplah
laknat Allah kepadanya, laknatnya orang-orang yang
melaknat."
Sayyidina Mu'adz(yang meriwayatkan hadis ini) kemudian
menangis dengan terisak-isak dan berkata:
"Ya Rasulullah, bagaimana aku bisa selamat dari apa
yang diceritakan itu?"
Sabda Rasulullah:
"Hai Mu'adz, ikutlah Nabimu dalam soal keyakinan!"
Aku bertanya kembali: "Tuan ini adalah Rasulullah,
sedangkan saya ini hanyalah si Mu'adz bin Jabal.
Bagaimana saya bisa selamat dan bagaimana bisa
terlepas dari bahaya tersebut"
Bersabda Rasulullah:
"Ya begitulah, seandainya dalam amalmu ada kelengahan,
maka tahanlah mulut mu jangan sampai menjelekkan orang
lain dan juga kepada saudara-saudara mu sesama ulama;
apabila kamu hendak hendak menjelekkan orang lain,
kamu harus ingat kepada dirimu sendiri, sebagaimana
engkau tahu bahwa dirimu pun penuh dengan aib-aib,
jangan membersihkan dirimu dengan menjelekkan orang
lain, jangan mengangkat diri sendiri dengan menekan
orang lain, jangan riya dengan amalmu agar amalmu itu
diketahui orang lain; dan janganlah termasuk orang
yang mementingkan keduniaan dengan melupakan akhirat,
kamu jangan berbisik-bisik dengan seseorang padahal
disebelahmu ada orang lain yang tidak diajak berbisik,
dan jangan takabbur kepada orang lain, nanti akan
luput bagimu kebaikan dunia dan akhirat, dan jangan
berkata kasar dalam suatu majlis dengan maksud supaya
orang-orang takut akan keburukan akhlakmu itu, jangan
membangkit-bangkit apabila membuat kebaikan, jangan
merobek-robek (peribadi) orang lain dengan sebab
mulutmu, kelak engkau akan dirobek-robek oleh
anjing-anjing jahanam yakni sebagaimana firman Allah
yang bermaksud:
"Di neraka itu ada anjing-anjing perobek badan-badan
manusia. Jadi mengoyak-ngoyak daging dari tulang."
Aku berkata: "Ya Rasulullah, siapa yang akan kuat
menanggung penderitaan semacam ini."
Jawab Rasulullah saw: "Mua'adz, yang kami ceritakan
tadi itu, akan mudah bagi mereka yang dimudahkan oleh
Allah SWT, cukup untuk menggalang semua itu; kamu
harus menyayangi orang lain sebagaimana kamu
menyayangi dirimu sendiri, dan benci bagi orang lain
apa-apa yang dibenci olehmu sendiri, apabila demikian,
maka kamu akan selamat dan pasti dirimu akan
terhindar.
Kata Khalid bin Ma'dan (yang meriwayatkan Hadits
tersebut dari Sayyidina Mu'adz).
"Sayyidina Mu'adz sering membaca Hadits ini
sebagaimana seringnya membaca Al Quran, mempelajari
Hadits ini sebagaimana mempelajari Al Quran dalam
majlisnya."

Tiada daya dan upaya melainkan dengan Allah yang Maha
Mengetahui dan Maha Besar

Bermula ikhlas itu satu rahsia daripada rahsia aku,
aku taruhkan ia dihati hamba yang aku kasihi daripada
hamba-hamba ku."

doa buat kekasih..

2004-11-04T23:14:00.000+08:00

This is what i picked from a fren's blog...farah hanan ismail..candlesofmine.blogspot.com..the sentences, the phrase are very beautiful....so iput it here so that i can always read it..(and recite it as well..)

doa padaMu kekasih
Bismillahirrahmaanirrahim... Ya Allah jika aku jatuh cinta, cintakanlah aku pada seseorang yang melabuhkan cintanya padaMu, agar bertambah kekuatanku untuk menyintaiMu... Ya Muhaimin, jika aku jatuh hati, izinkanlah aku menyentuh hati seseorang yang hatinya tertaut padaMu agar tidak terjatuh aku dalam jurang cinta nafsu... Ya Rabbana, jika aku jatuh hati, jagalah hatiku padanya agar tidak berpaling daripada hatiMu... Ya Rabbul Izzati, jika aku rindu, rindukanlah aku pada seseorang yang merindui syahid di jalanMu... Ya Allah, jika aku menikmati cinta kekasihMu janganlah kenikmatan itu melebihi kenikmatan indahnya bermunajat di sepertiga malam terakhirMu... Ya Allah, jika aku jatuh hati pada kekasihMu jangan biarkan aku tertatih dan terjatuh dalam perjalanan panjang menyeru manusia kepadaMu... Ya Allah jika Kau halalkan aku merindui kekasihMu jangan biarkan aku melampaui batas sehingga melupakan aku pada cinta hakiki dan rindu abadi hanya kepadaMu...

Aminnnnn...............

kenangan zaman dolu2

2004-11-04T22:16:00.000+08:00

haha...lately did i realized the blog sounded lots of sorrows...sometimes i got too emotional, but anyway writing is always one way for me to pour down everything..
today, Alhamdulillah, i had my oral presentation..it was quite o.k..at least i was more confident with my eng now compared to before..a comment from friend; u sounded like debater..haha, yelah tu..at first i was quite nervous, but with help from Allah..i managed to control the fear..o.k!now i can concentrate on final exams!!!
but my frens asked me to berbuka puasa together this week....at mid valley..i hven't tell them bout the exam,nor i've give the decision on coming or not..well, i really want to go, esp these frens are the special ones..members of 6J..(hehe....memalu lak nak ngaku, J tu jahanam..) but i guess we r not so jahanam after all..me myself InsyaAllah will be going to aussie, syai ton.zealand..syiqin to indon, k-rah now in mmu..pa n azie in matrix..
frankly speaking i don't think we r jahanam(though we gave the name ourselves)..just a little bit loss and lacked of akidah..but still we have never cross the boundaries..still pray..still remind each others of right and wrong..it was just the matter of unstability of emotions...u know..teenagers...laughter....challenges..(monkey)loves....
i can still remember those havoc years...emm...99,00,01...yep..lots of things..lots of mischievous activities and actions..came late to school, escaped classes, climbed tangki..laugh..laugh...sawan...laugh...huhu..joyful moments...
still remember pa's crazy laughter...and k-rah's incessant jokes...azie's coolness...
ahh....how could i forget them all..
but time changed..and people changed..i changed...
huhu..that's another side of the story which i won't reveal..not right now..
however,i believe our frenship does not stop after everyting has changed....
once frens forever frens....
the problem now is..i donno wether i should go or not....nak pegi ke tak nak...nak pegi ke tak nak..nak pegi.....tak pegi....

hello....what r u doing????

2004-11-01T08:46:00.000+08:00

huuuu..next week is my final exam...haha.kan dah gelabah...i still have to do my oral presentation on thursday, which i have not prepare properly..hentam sajelah labu....my spirit is down lately after all of my researches got very low marks..bio got 14/20, chem got 7/10, plus physics' test which i love soooo much got only 28/40!!! most of my frens obtained 35 n above...huhu..padan muka....i received all these saddening marks at the same time..at first, bio, i told myself, be patient, don't compare urself with the rests...then received physic paper, wich i almost cry, but i tried very hard not to...cry in front of God o.k....patient..patient......then suddenly chem's report was handed!!!! ooo Lord of the universe....was this a trial or a remark of my sins????

whn i think back what have i done, then only i realize how negligent i've been esp after leaving school..hello!!!! cik balqis...what do u think of ur self?? baru dapat sikit dah lupe dunie..lupe mak ayah..lupe adik2..lupa kakak...lupe cita2 yg dulu tinggi cm everest..lupe pade Tuhan!!!!

Now iam not the same aqisz anymore..sometimes i was drifted in pleasures, sometimes in measury till at one time, i was defeated by my ownself...forget what mom told me..went out with boys..apela, prempuan jalang!!!

Al-Mulk and As-sajadah also have become less and less frequent recited every night...what laa....i claim to love Rasulullah(s.a.w),but was too lazy to follow his sunnah..

o.k, o.k...relaxlaa....come on laa..this is not the first time u have probs in ur life..u've gone trough all these last time, remember??o.k, i shall reset my self..
1. No matter what happen, however bad conditions going to be, hold faith only to God..Cry in front of Him, o.k.....
2. Force urself to grab back all amal u have left behind...recite Quran, read the meanings...
3. Always obey whatever ur parents say!!! Parent's bless is indeed God's bless.
4. Knowlege is everything....study, o.k don't waste ur time on world merely..balance between study and entertainments...don't give up just because of the low marks..of course u can't get everything perfect everytime.....
5. Contact ur frens,...don't lost touch.but be careful!! don't cross over the limit....God knows what u do....

o.klah...to all, wish me best for my final..haha...cuak2....

Is the light still there?; master your language to master your journey....

2004-10-31T09:39:00.000+08:00

Now i had a new possession ; a mini dictionary, oxford...
i was inspired by a clasmates; Shalini, whose english is lots better than mine but still, brought a small dict wherever she went..and me, knowing all this long that my eng is not so sufficient, don't even have a (small) dict!!

Born as a Malay, raised as a Malay, i am too accustomed to bahasa melayu, which i found a language of beauty...

But now, i've to accept apart fr b.m i have to master english, infact in my situation now, in my area of study, b.m is not a major function anymore..

I love english,.used to read lotssof novels, mags, but still had the least confidence to converse in english..when i was in stdrd 5, our eng teacher asked me to read an article aloud, i was confiused between 'plan' and 'plant'..i uttered it the other way round..teacher repeated it for me several times, but i still cannot pronounce it...the whole class were laughing at me...i was... so embarress, humiliated, furious, sad, shame,and....my confidence on eng was gone....from then onwards i focused only on papers, how to write, not bothering to use it...not after that incident...

Secondary school,i was hoping for a change, but was hooked to the trauma...plus, i took things for granted...i wasted all of the opportunities to use eng....live comfortably by dodging eng usage in whatever way i can figure out...

But now i can't dodge and run again...if i run, i'll be nothing..though it's very excruciating to see others can use eng sufficiently, speak elocuently while i listened and feeling embarress of my incapability to converse like them..but i know that is wrong..i cannot compare myself with anybody for i'll end up in vain..i know i've to work hard to improve..

reminiscing back my previous years, sometimes i think God had arranged my life to be like this....he gave me lots troughout my life and now He is trying me with a little sorrow, and i almost give up..how ungrateful i am..."

"jangan kau sangka kau beriman selagi kau belum diuji"~firman Allah

i believe that every problems has a solution...

every second i take...

2004-10-30T07:15:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulillah, it's already 16 Ramadhan...this is my 18th ramadhan in my life..but when i questioned mself, have i fulfil all the glorious Ramadhans in proper way??

Yesterday i went, for the first time to sunway mosque for Isha' n terawikh because accidentally,or under God's will, we(me+frens) met a very kind aunt, gave us a ride to the mosque..usually we prayed at a nearby surau.It was a pleasant, beautiful mosque, serenity crept in me the whole prayer...few days recently my conscience was embedded with worthless worries...don;t know why...must have drifted in the compelling and comfortable life..MasyaAllah.my life was soooo easy, i've taken it for granted...
Lately, it has became harder n harder to feel the closeness to God as last times...so hard, tears were not willing to drip down..i felt loss........but last night, after constant struggle with nafsu, i started to cry again....
i don't know, was it because of the mosque or what?
"Sesungguhnya Allah melimpahkan rahmatNya pd orang2 yang dikehendakiNya"

But it was very touching, to see such a huge and handsomely built mosque were attended by such few peoples, despite of Ramadhan Al Mubarak...hmmph..what has happen here?? Though majority of the residence were non muslim, but i bet the numbers of muslim people was lots more than what i saw last night..half of the mosque was empty!!

Ooo man...this is Malaysia!!! Not Australia or London where not many muslim were there....well i guess i cannot blame those who didn't come...it was individual right, ..but still, without jemaah,...who are we???
May Allah shows the right path to all Muslims....

I was not angry, just lacked of words and feelings...i saw a muslim boy without a tinge of embarres drank in the public.....uzur? didn't looklike that at all.....i don't know...as a girl, who myself are timid what can i do othr than to see and istigfar??

i miss my family......

puase...puase..puase....

2004-10-24T11:18:00.000+08:00

23rd october 2004

Last night we(me n housemates of 701 ridzuan condo) had a simple majlis berbuka puasa at our house...it was great though we've spent the whole evening preparing evrythin..
We devided every tasks among our frens fr other houses as well...by the way,this was an excellent way to tighten silaturrahim...we prepared the lauks, one other unit brought fruits, some brought kuehs, some cook rice..thus the burdens weren't placed on us merely...

However, to prepare the lauks was the hardest task...ops, i should have mention earlier, this majlis was attended by around 30 peoples, of all were our frens in Taylor and sunway as well...so, u see, to prepare foods for 30 peoples with unadequate time was quite challenging(troublesome too!!)

We planned to buy chicken curry, but was lacked of where the source should come from..to cook by ourselves was out of the list...hissh, too risky!!(we don't want people to feel dissatisfied of the taste; but this doesn't we don't know how to cook!)
By the way, we did cook something else; ikan masak kicap and sayur campur: and Sarah professionally cook her aunt's secret recepe; puding cocktail..

Back to the chicken story, at first we were hopping if we can get help from our friend..who's mother had a restaurant, but for some reasons, she couldn't make it...

Therefore, we roamed to various places after cracking our head on where and how to cut the budget..
The first shop we went offer RM60...pergh!! 60 ringgit does not worth it at all!!we said thanks and leaved...

Nah,the second shop....the price was fine....45 ringgit, plus the chickens were big...sufficient enough to feed hungry stomach..but, the problem was, we were not sure the shop's food halal or not!!! we've seen lots of malay people went in n out of the shop..and the label halal was flashingly and obviously displayed.....plus a label saying pork was strictly forbidden,...more over, the cook was a malay... indon actually, so we cannot tell her religion..oh, well...it has nothing to do with the chicken anyway, as she's not the one who slaughter the chickens..

But, what intrigued us most was the shop sold beers!!! it was separated from the food corner, but what could you say to a shop that sell beer?? of course they didn't mix alcohol with food, but if u were in our situation, will you take it??

Thus, we were determined not to buy there, though the price was very welcoming...Hence, we went to another shop...to cut the story short, we agreed to buy there after a tremendous discussing and bidding price..(su was very good at this, hoolaaa)..we bought the chickens for 35 ringgit... hehe..see how professioanl work.....

the whole evening then we were crammed in the kitchen..cooking...cooking...laughing...talking...that was the power of commitment!!( and also the power of girls!!!!!!!)

when it was almost time for berbuka, our other friends who supposed to bring other delicacies did not arrive yet...making us quite gelabah,..but everything went very well...they arrived one by one , bringing all the foods...we all had nice conversation...took pictures...

hmm...for those coming yesterday, me and friends like to thanks you all....
hope u all enjoy our simple majlis
and hopefully nobody got stomachache today....hehe..

and to the rest, selamat berpuasa!!!

A letter for ibu...

2004-10-16T20:58:00.000+08:00

Ibu...
Yesterday i went with my fren to a stall...she bought her mom a gift..a selendang..she said she alwiz gives her mom presents...then i asked myself, have i ever give u anything?? not a present, but yes, i did give u lots of things; miseries...
Ibu...i have never awrd u anything troughout my life....no..all i did is make u sad cuz i'm bad...indeed i know i alwiz hurt ur feeling, but i still hold firm on my stubbornness.....sometimes i know, u r angry with me, but i put no effort to say sorry...no, i did not....
when i did say sorry and u did said u forgive me....i know...deep in ur heart there are still sadness lingering...i know the forgiveness u offered is because u love me so much u don't want me to worry..but ibu....i know i was never really forgiven by God...that's why i'm not happy..that's why my conscience embedded in continuos worries.....

"Children of Adam! If Messengers come to you from among yourselves, recounting My Signs to you, those who guard against evil and put things right, will feel no fear, and will know no sorrow" (Surat al-A'raf, 35)

Last night when i peformed Terawikh...I asked God to show me where are my flaws that i cannot reach pure serenity...why must i feel scared fo something beside Allah...why does i always had negative thoughts...depressed..worried.....
i couldn't find any other reasons....except that.....i've done lots of sins to you.....

Parent's mercy are indeed, God's mercy....

Ibu...i know this is not the bst way to apologize....and i cannot promise u i will neer brek ur heart again.....but i really need u to know that...i regret that all over my life, i've taken you for granted....and i feel very embarres that after going through problems in my life that i only remember how bad i'm to you.....

i love you....

TABURKAN JASA, SEMAIKAN BUDI

2004-10-09T20:36:00.000+08:00

Sekarang nak masukkan lagu kegemaran,~mesti ramai tak tau lagu ni...kecuali orang2 yang slalu dengar saya menyampaikan lagu nih di merata-rata...saya nak menujukan lagu nih pada semua member2 yag berterabur di seluruh Malaysia dan di luar Malaysia..pada semua yang menyayangi saya...ibu, ayah, along, alib, aas..angah tau aas tak suka angah nyanyi lagu nih, tapi angah tak pedulik, nyanyi jugak..huhu.....sayangilah kakak anda ini....pada semua member2 pkn kuala rompin~kuktem, korang sure ingat lagu nih, disampaikan oleh saudara fahrur rozi dgn merdu sekali...sesungguhnya saya cuba nak nyanyi sdp mcm tu jugak tapi tak jadik,..hehe..anyway, lagu ni sgt istimewa sbb hidup nih adalah satu perjuangan!!!!

TABURKAN JASA SEMAIKAN BUDI........
(inteam, aeman, unic)

Pengalaman silam mengajar erti hidup
amat payah untuk kita harungi
mengapa masih ada di antara kita
persengketaan

Perjalanan waktu sering menghambat kita
kian hampir pada detik hujungnya
tak perlu ragu2 untuk tegakkan tugu
kemerdekaan

Segala2nya kini telah disediakan
untuk kita teruskan bersama
jangan biarkan musuh merapatinya
hancurkan kedamaian kita

Selagi kita mampu pertahankan
maruah, agama, bangsa dan negara
selagi itulah kita kan bersatu
di situ letak kunci
kejayaan kita bersama

Taburkan jasa dan semaikan budi
jadilah kita warga yang berbakti
tiup semangat cintakan negara
demi pewaris bangsa
anak2 generasi kita......

okeh....

~CINTA~LALALALAAAA......

2004-09-18T10:26:00.000+08:00

Satu pagi yang tenang dan dingin, sambil menikmati nasi lemak sambal pedas dengan telur goreng dan air teh susu cair, saya, Su dan Hanan berborak2, bukan perkara yang sia2, tapi pelbagai isu dalam hidup...

Entah macam mana, boleh timbul cerita pasal cinta...dan perkahwinan...bukan kami ni gatal sgt dah nak kahwin,(soalan math homework pun x habis jawab lagi!!!!) cuma kami rasa pelik, kenapa zaman sekarang ni ramai muda-mudi yang bercouple...bercintalatu....Bagi kami yang masing2 sampai sekarang takde couple nih(bukan x laku baa....saje jual mahal..) punya pendapat masing2...

Bagi saya, bercouple tu x salah, tapi saya x mau ada commitment sekarang nih sbb pada saya soal cinta ni amatlah complicated, kalau tak pandai kawal diri, nanti syaitan ambik peluang kuasai diri...contoh paling mudah, kalau orang bercouple, mesti ada punya perasaan nak keluar berdua2an...mungkin yang masih kukuh pegangan iman akan keluar ke tempat terbuka, mungkin bawa kawan, tapi, perasaan mahukan privacy tu masih ada, dan bila ada kesempatan tinggal berdua2an..(dalam konteks ni, kalau duduk tempat terbuka tapi pandangan mata dan hati dah khusyuk sgt kat buah hati, pun dah boleh dianggap berdua2an dah, sbb tulah ada couple tak segan silu berpeluk bercium kat khalayak ramai....), maka pada waktu mcm nilah, syaitan amat mudah masuk ke dalam diri, sbb waktu tu nafsu tgh mengawal diri, walau sekuat mana pun kita jaga keimanan dan ketakwaan masih ada ruang syaitan nak loloskan diri....

apa taknya, cuba bayangkan, kalau kita nak keluar jumpa couple kita, pakaian mesti nak cantik, mesti sopan santun, cakap lemah lembut, segala kelemahan diri kena cover...jadi, secara tak langsung kita dah bersikap bepura2, klau tak banyak pun mesti ada sikit punye...jadi, dlam sikap pura2 tuh, boleh ke kita jamin pada diri bhw kita takkan kalah pada nafsu dan bisikan syitan?? faham ke ape yang saya tulis ni?? sebenarnya, apa yang terbuku dalam hati ni lebih kompleks dari apa yang saya taip, tpi nak bagi penjelasan yang betul2 terperinci agak susah, semoga Allah tolong saya untuk sampaikan pendapat dan ilmu yang saya ada dengan sebaiknya.....

~"sesungguhnya,apabila seorang lelaki berdua2an dengan seorang perempuan, maka yang ketiga di antara mereka adalah syaitan"~

Hmm.....macam mana nk sanggah sabda Nabi ni?

Kemudian kami bincang pula pasal perkahwinan, saya teringat waktu PKN dulu ada seorang coach ni, dia menimbulkan isu couple(sbb waktu tu bnyk sgt couple hgt bercinta sesama pesrta PKN)..dia kata tak semetinya kena bercinta sblm kahwin utk pastikn pasangan tu betul2 orang yang kita mimpi2kan, macam coach tu sendiri, dia tak kenal pun isteri dia sampai dia dah kahwin..maksudnya, cinta mereka datang lepas dah kagwinlaa...tiba2 ada pulak prnag peserta PKN(lelaki) menyampuk...."cinta lepas kahwin lagi maniskan coach?"...terus riuh lepas tu...

Persoalan cinta sblm atau slps kahwin tu xlah menjadi masalah sgt, yg masalahnya ialah macam mana nak kekal bahagia sampai ke hujung nyawa..(cheh, curik nama filem prof.razak mohyideen) ...saya pernah terbaca, kalau nak bahgia, kita kenalah terima pasangan kita tu seadanya..tak kisah walau apa kelemahan dia, kita kenalah terima tak sekali2 mempersoalkan kekurangan dia, malah bantu membantu baiki kelemahan diri, baru boleh bahagia...wah3, saya nih cakap mcm dah ada pengalaman pilak...tapi apa salahnyamenilai pendapat orang yang belumkahwin kan?? kalau saya ada tersilap kat mana2, ampunkanlah saya, ye....

soal menerima kelemahan pasangan ni pulak, menurut kata Hanan, dia tak kisah pun kalau terkahwin dgn orang yang garang, bengis, panas baran, berasap, hijau...eh, merepekla pulak..kesimpulannya garanglaa....sbb kata dia itulah cabaran dlm hidup @ perkahwinan....kalau kita berjaya melembutkan diri pasangan kita tu, bukan ke itu satu kejayaan yang amat manis?? tapi...ada jugak dalam kes yang lain, si isteri ni asalnya orang yang beriman, bertakwa,tapi terkahwin dgn orang yang tak beriman, last2 dgn isteri sekali rosak...kata Hanan, itu kerana perempuan tu sdr tak kuat iman..jadi, kata Su pulak, sbelum kahwin, kita kna check diri dulu, dah betul2 besedia terima sebarang kemungkinan ke???sbb tu kahwin tu namanya tuntutan!!

Hmm...kami budak baru belajar, kalau tersilap tolongla betulkan..saya tak mahu dikatakan anti coupling...membenci jauh sekali...cuma hendak mencari cinta hakiki dulu yang masih samar2...kalau cinta pada yang HAK pun belum kukuh, macam mana pulak saya boleh akui sya cinta pad seseorang tu padahal erti cinta yang sebenar pun saya masih tak paham lagi...ada sesiapa boleh tolong jelaskan cinta tu apa???tolonglah kanak2 yang jahil nih...

Teringat pulak, dlm sebuah artikel yamg saya baca, samaada benar atau tak sya tak tahulah, tapi menurut penulis, kalau kita benar2 sukaaaaaa sgt kat seseorang tu, terutama bila lelaki minat kat perempuan, maka buatlah solat sunat Istikharah, tanya pada Allah, dia ni ke calon yang terbaik buatku?? Andai kata kita dah yakin bhw orang tulah cinta hidup kita, maka buatlah perjanjian dgn dia,,,perjanjian utk sehidup semati nantilaa..maksudnya,kita dah berjanji akan kahwin dgn dia, jadi tak payahla nak dating2, berdua2an...hmm,itukan alternatif yang lebih baik...tapi betulke ada orang buat mcm tu??macm pelik je.....

Tk kisah apa pun, yang pasti rasa suka dan cinta pada seseorang tukan lumrah manusia...saya menipu kalau saya kata saya tak pernah suka sesiapa...hehe...okeh, sblm berhenti, saya berminat nak petik sms yg dihantar pada saya, berkenaan cintalaa...

"Cintakan bunga, bunga layu, cintakan manusia, manusia mati, cintakan Allah janjinya pasti, kerana cinta itu milik Allah maka Allah tahu cinta yang mana baik untuk hambaNya~Mungkin Allah sengaja temukan yang salah supaya bila jumpa yang betul kita tahu hargai dan baru kita tahu siapa yang benar2 hargai"

Sedar tak sedar, nasi lemak pun dah habis...hmm...terlupa nak makan timun...timun kan baik utk kesihatan...okelaa....next posting.......

CINTAILAH SAUDARA ANDA...

2004-09-12T22:04:00.000+08:00

Sekian lama x menules kat blog nih, tibe2 hati rase terpanggil utk menules semule..ah, rindunye...rindu pade siape?rindu nak luahkan idea dan pengalaman dari otak yang jumud nih..sekarang hati rase lebeh tenang dan yakin utk menules semula..beberapa bulan kebelakangan nih hati dilanda derita, Tuhan saje yang tahu.tapi kali nih saye bukan nak cerita ttg dugaan tuh, mungkin lain kali, tapi cerita terbaru ni menarik juga, harap semua yang membaca boleh ambil iktibar....

Last week berjalan2 meneroka alam..alam di Sham Alam, ceh, ke INTEC sbenarnya..niat di hati nak jumpa member2, last2 Syiqin takde, kluar dgn kakak die, Syai balik cuti, Affa dgn Kaz balik rumah(rumah dekat bolehlaa), Syafee ke Semesti(tercinta) pulak, yang tinggal Fadli sorang, tapi takpela, boleh jer ambik kesempatan ni berkenalan ngan kawan2 baru..

Nak dijadikan cerita, malam tu(tidur kat Intec semalam jer) lepas dinner dgn Fadli dan kwn2 perempuan yg lain, kitorang pon balikla ke bilik(rumah??) kawan Su(member saye dr Taylor);Nadirah...x lame lepas tu diorang keluar melawat bilik kawan yang lain..saye x kenal kawan diorang nih, dan terasa mls nak bergerak, jadi saye kate saye sanggup tinggal sorang2 sementare diorang kluar....

Sambil tunggu diorang kluar tuh,saye pon jawablah soalan homework math yang belambak dan susah...sampai beberapa soalan, saye rase tak larat dah, mcam nak muntah pon ade..jadi saye pon capailah buku kat rak dan masuk ke bilik dan bum!! terbongkang atas katil..aii, macam x sopan je bunyi..takdelar terbongkang, bersopan la jugak...pastu bacela buku tuh dgn penoh kesungguhan...saye tau saye x boleh tidor sbb pintu rumah dikunci, kunci kat dalam ,kalau kwn saye blk, sye kenela bukakkan pintu...

Tapi saye nih mmg manusia yg lemah..sng jer kalah ngan godaan syaitan durjana...makin lame kelopak mate nih rase makin berat...tulisan dalam buku pon dah jadi lain macam, makin lame makin x paham...lampu pon makin malap...malap..malap..tibe2 gelap teros....sebelom gelap, sempat pulak fikir...alah, tidur 5 minit ape salahnye....

Ceh, 5 minit konon...tibe2 saye terbangun, sbb ape ntah, tak jelas...yang pastinye, bile terbangun tuh dgr bunyi pintu dihentam(diketuk je sebenarnye,saje kasik gempak sikit)dgn kuatnya...pastu Su menjerit2..aqiz!! aqiz!!! haa..menggelabah...sayelar,bukan Su....

Rupe2nye diorang dah tunggu kat luar pintu tu 20 minit...sayepulak boleh jer tidor dgn nyenyaknye...pastu diorang dah mule fikir yg bukan2, sbb call handphone pon saye x jawab...nak jawab cemane??

Saye pon berusahala memohon maaf dgn bersunggoh2, diorng dah nak panggil makcik guard dah nak suroh bukakkan pintu...

Xlame lepstu, Su pulak dtg mintak maaf, die ckp die perlu mintak maap sbb die fikir yg bukan2 pasal saye...tapi ayat yg plg menusuk senubari saye ialah,"saye rase menyampah kat awak.."..hmm..die mengucapkan dgn jujur dan ikhlas, saye pula menerima dgn hati yg pedih terhiris...sedehlah, orang menyampah kat kite...org bagi kepercayaan suroh tunggu, kite boleh tidur pulak..kalau nak tidor, kenapa x cakap awal2, tak payahlah diorang suruh saye tunggu...dan x payahlah diorang terkurung kat luar pukul 12 malam sampai hampir setengah jam...

Kesimpulannye, saye sedar diri saye nih terlalu angkuh dan sombong di muka bumi Allah nih, terlalu pentingkan diri dan x sanggup berkorban sedikit kesenangan diri untuk sahabat, saudara sendiri...Ya Tuhan, kelak kalau ditanya dalm kubur oleh malaikat Munkar Nankir 'siapa saudaramu?' ape yang saye nak jawab nanti?? saudarakah namanye kalau x sanggup berkorban sedikit pon? saudarakah namenye kalau tidur itu lebeh penting?Whai sahabat,ampunkan aku, tegurlah kesalahanku, biarlah hati ini terluke, itu lebeh baik dari dilukai di sana nanti...

Firman Allah, "Dan (juga) org2 yg apabila mengerjakan perbuatan keji atau menganiaya diri sendiri, mereka ingat akan Allah, lalu memohon ampun terhadap dosa2 mereka,dan siapa lagi yang dapat mengampuni dosa selain darpd Allah?Dan mereka tidak meneruskan perbuatan keji itu, sedang mereka mengetahui" surah Ali Imran, ayat 135.

Buying Rambutans

2004-06-29T07:31:00.001+08:00

Today is my final day in Ipoh before i went 2 subang 2 enrol in my college..so, yesterday i took the opportunity sauntering along ipoh 4 the last time 2 relish the views i might gonna miss later..i went with my parents...

At a pasar where we drop by 2 buy some groceries, we stumbled upon a hawker selling rambutan..RM 1.50 a kilo..ei, that`s cheap, said my father...and u can take 3 kilos 4 just RM 4..bidded the hawker...that`s fine..give me 3 kilos then..uttered my father..

he put the rambutans...more, more and more rambutans, up to the scale..woops, almost 4 kilos.instead of reputting it, he added more rambutans till it weighed 4 kilos! and summoned his son(i guess) to ask my father to pay RM 5 for the 4 kilos rambutan..i did the calculation, well, ok, instead of paying RM 6 for the actual price, we`ve cut a ringgit..might worth a bargain...

but, the problem was who was the customer now?? my father or he himself??funny isn`t it?? just imagine u r buying something else, say...a new computer..u just feel enough with a monitor, a pc, a keyboard, mouse, speaker, modem for some reasonable price, suddenly the dealer determined, ok u must take the printer together, for half price...what would u likeky say??who`s right was it to determine what we want to have?? shouldn`t he at least ask first?? was it because of rambutans so it doesn`t make sense??

hmph, my father frowned...though it wasn`t a big deal..at least we`ve got a kilo more for the least price..afterall, it was just rambutan!(and know what??half of that goes to my stomach--love rambutans)but that doesn`t mean it was right...

Then i learnt the meaning of respect and honesty..true, evrybody would love to gain more money and wealth, but not by taking easy roads to achieve it..now i realise why some people accepted bribes, why some people cheated his friends...greedy..and selfish...

So, that was the lesson i possessed before i left ipoh...i hope in my new place i wouldn`t meet the same incident again, plus this time i`ll be on my own, no more my parents to protect me..but because i`ve learnt something, now i know i wouldn`t be cheated that easy...or i thaught so...

Berlari Ke Langit

2004-06-27T17:25:00.000+08:00

Pernah berasa Tensyen??Marah??Sedih?? Keliru?? Apa yg anda lakukan pada mase2 mcm nih?

Pada saya,(terasa "aku"terlalu kasar, maka ditukar pade sst yg lebih manis dipandang) pd saat2 mcm nih, saye lebih suke mendongak ke langit...

Bile rase kecewa, marah, sedeh sgt, nak menangis, kene marah, gagal atau rase diri nih x bergune lgsg saye akn pdg ke langit sbb langit adlh ciptaan yg terlalu agung, indah dan m`bawa saye blk pd 1 hakikat hidup.Wlaupon hakikinye Tuhan itu ade di mane2, tp lebeh trase kehadirannye bile pdg ke langit, kmudian baru saye terfikir, Tuhan yg terlalu hebat shgga mencipta langit yg sgt melimpah 2 keluasannye, x mungkin mencipte 1 mahkluk mcm saye utk sia2, pasti ade sbb mgp Dia m`cipte saye dan saye yakin Dia x m`cipta saye utk jadik seorg yg gagal semate2...setiap ciptaan Tuhan pasti ade keistimewaannye..kemudian saye akn berhenti menangis dan senyum kembali....

Dari dulu sampai skrg langit x pernah berubah..tetap biru dan awan ttp putih mulus..langit yg kita pdg hari ini adlh langit yg sama dipandang oleh para nabi dhl, Nabi Ibrahim, Nabi Sulaiman,Nabi Musa, Nabi Isa, Nabi Muhammad s.a.w..Mereka juga m`dongak ke langit memohon pertolongan Tuhan...langit yg sama...

Saye igt lapisan langit yg dipelajari kat sekolah ade 4, tp 1 hari terbaca artikel, 7 lapisan lngit:troposfera, tropopause, stratosfera, mesosfera, ionosfera, eksosfera, termosfera..hmm..inike yg dikate 7 lapisan langit dlm Quran?? ..trase sggh jahil..teringt kisah pengembaraan Nabi mrentasi 7 lgt, kisah penurunan wahyu dr Tuhan ke Luh Mahfuz dan ke Baitul Izzah(langit bumi)...

Usia bumi ni dah 3.9 billion tahun, tp pernahke langit berubah?? waktu siang lngit bwarna biru sbb penyerakan cahaye matahari, warne biru bpanjang gelombang plg pendek maka warne birula yg terserak smpai sluruh langit warne biru..terfikir, dlm tempoh 3.9 billion tahun sekalipon Tuhan x pernah tukar pjg gelombang chy biru..btp Penyabarnye Tuhan tu, sdgkn Dia boleh jer ubah sikit pjg glombang, tukar lngit warne hijau sekejap, merah sekejap..tp x...langit ttp biru..Tuhan boleh kekalkn sst tuh bgt lame, tp manusia sll berubah pendirian....dan x boleh bersabar..

Waktu mlm lg indah langit tuh...bulan, bintang2..terlalu indah..sdgkn kat muke bumi sll ade perubahan..ade pembangunan..bgnn baru..rumah baru..pencemaran..tp lgt mlm ttp mcm tuh, sikit pon xterusik..sehebat mane pon ciptaan manusia x kan boleh sentuh sikit pon ciptaan Tuhan..saye plg suke tgk langit yg penoh bintang2, titik2 kecil tuh sbenarnye ialah bintang yg terlalu besar, panas tp dr bumi nmpk sgt indah...Oleh itu jugak saye dpt belajar ttg zodiak:aries, pisces, virgo......pernah ke zodiak2 ini berubah???hilang?? x pernah bkn..hakikatnye, semue planet, bintang, sts bergerak spjg mase, tp Tuhan mpu kekalkan kedudukn setiap dr itu betul pd lokasinye...

Pertukaran atr siang dgn mlm, x pernah sekalipon Tuhan tersilap..oops...siang terpanjang siket...mlm terkurang siket...atau pkl 9 mlm br langit gelap atau pkl 8 pg msh gelap lg..x pernah(kcl pd tempt2 jauh di ujung kutub)...tp manusia x penah ambik endah utk tgk langit sekejap sblm mulekn hari, sdgkn langit itu dr sblm manusia dijadikan tlh menjadi saksi sgl yg berlaku di muka bumi...

Langit waktu senja, lagilar terlalu menawan...pergerakan Bumi membelakangi mthr sikit demi sikit, chy terbias lalu chy merah yg terbias plg bnyk krn b`gerak plg perlahan myebabkan langit kemerah2an..terlalu2 cantik..mcm dilukis2 jer langit..

x pernah saye nmpk awan dgn bentuk yg same..setiap kali dongak ke langit pasti corak awan menawan hati, x pernah jemu wlpon langit ttp x pernah berubah..bentuk awan kdg2 lucu, kdg2 mcm buih, mcm bntk pelik, berpusar2, berserak2...x berape ingt brp jenis awan: komulonimbus, sirus , sirius, kumulus..bnyk lg..itu jenisnye,..bentuknye???

Memberi corak pd langit, maka diciptakan aurora pd tmpt2 tertentu..warna biru atau hijau..saye x pernah berpeluang melihatnye selain dr grafik dlm buku, tp amat berharap 1 hari nnt dpt lihat dan hayati sdr keindahannye...

Hakikatnye, kite semue berkongsi langit yg same, setinggi mane jwtn, kedudukan, seglamer mane pon kite, sepandai manepon, sehebat mane pon, Tuhan ttp beri langit yg same utk mlindungi semue org, x de yg diberi keistimewaan...

Mengetahui 1 hari nnt saye akn mati dan akn ditanam jauh dlm bumi dan x upaya lg melihat langit yg indah..maka saye mahu hargai usia yg ade dgn melihat langit sepuas2 nye, bkn sekadar waktu kesedehan, bile2 mase jer, mencari ilham, muhasabah diri..

"Ya Allah, jadikanlah aku hambaMu yang selalu berdoa kepadaMu dengan setulusnya ketika dalam keadaan tenteram, sebagaimana tulusnya doa orang-orang yang terpaksa kerana berada dalam kesempitan"-Doa Saidina Ali Zainal Abidin(cicit Rasulullah s.a.w)

mosquitoes and flies

2004-06-25T07:44:00.001+08:00

Now i want to tell a story about flies and mosquitoes.i happened to suddenly remember this story after i`ve been stung by bees for 2 consecutive days,hee...

Back during PKN, 1 day after a long walk in Kampung Masjid Pandan 2 ferreting people`s house looking for aedes as an anti-denggi campaign we`ve been commissioned to do, we sat exhaustedly at a compound of a musolla.

"Why r we doing all this nonsense?"asked a friend
"What nonsense?"i asked back
"Ferreting other people`s house like a nuisance.."
"we r here to get rid of aedes before somebody die of denggi.we r here to help"intervened Nisah

A mute second.Nisah turned towards me.
"aqisz, do u think u know why God created mosquitoes and flies?"
"Yeah, to test people`s persistency and perseverency,because they were so annoying those unpatient can loss their temper and went angry.God sent them also to teach us to become patient and stoically strong enduring all obstacles in our lives..."i smile contentedly after the spiel.

"Is that all?"
I sent a grimace.."Tell me other reasons"
"You should know.."
"well, right now, i don`t"

"where do flies and mosquitoes usually perche on?"
"Everywhere sleazy;droppings, faeces, carcass, junks,leftovers...."
"And food and human as well" Nisah`s turn to offer a smile

I pondered.I get it all right.Mosquitoes never choose it`s victim.They are all equally same to a mosquito`s eyes.A merchant or a begger,a minister or a regular, a teacher or a student, a doctor or a patient, a father or a son, a priest or a perpetrator..nobody is exceptional from a mosquito`s bite, which eventually means we human are of the same standard though we came from different backgrounds and derived status.If to a mosquito we are just equal, so to God we are even similar.He never evaluates a person based on his wealth or status or title, but on iman and our faithfulness..

But to a fly`s eyes, it`s worse.It can land on our food after it visited a toilet or somewhere sleazy and smell of stench.Every surface is just the same to flies.No big deal, your face and a dropping, what different does it make to a fly??So, now I get the idea of you and your friends or anybody else in the world are totally indifferent, so why do we have to fight when we can negotiate?, why do we confiscate when we can share?and why do we kill each other instead of collaborating?? These are because we forgot that we human came from the same route and head for the same end.If everybody in this world could take few seconds gazing and pondering of a tiny creature such as mosquito and fly, I bet then we`ll know why we should stop fighting and jealosing towards other people...

After the long conversation, we were asked to convene again and continue our task.Heees, now i feel like making friends with insects, which is just why i`ve been stung by bees twice and felt very happy about it...haha....

PKN~Kenangan Amat Berharga 2

2004-06-24T07:45:00.000+08:00

Sekarang aku nak crite pengalaman kt ipta pulak..Kolej Universiti Kejuruteraan dan Teknologi Malaysia~KUKTEM.
Modul di sini terbahagi pd 3~
Modul Kenegaraan
Modul Pembinaan Karakter
Modul Khidmat KOmuniti
Aku xkan crite scr teperinci setiap modul, cuma akn crite pnglmn2 yg amat penting berlaku dlm skop kacamata aku...
Roommates~kalo kt kem 1 kemah 10 org, kali nih 1 blk 4 org..mase mule2 dtg, hati tertanye2, siapela agaknye akn jdk roommates aku 2 bulan kt sini??akhirnye terjwb jgk~dayah, ela, fatin..kalo korg nak tau, fatin ngan ela nih terkenal kat kem dulu krn crite yg x baik, tp aku mmg xpenah ambik tau crite diorg malah x nak tau pon sape orgnye, yelar, kalo knal orgnye nnt kalo ade org mengumpat aku gak dpt dosa sekali, jd baik x payah kenal..mule2 terkejut jugak,takot pon ade, manelar tau, diorang x suke aku ke..atau diorang igt aku x suke diorang....pade aku, masalah peribadi seseorang x patot dicampur aduk dgn persahabatan, selagi orang tu x buat kejahatan yg melampau atau mmg benci gile ngan aku, aku masih boleh berkawan dgn org tuh..jadi aku pon mulekan salam perkenalan...Alhamdulillah, diorang balas dgn senyuman..fatin sgt lembut orgnye~ela pon baik dan manis~dayah pendiam dan baik hati

Tibe2 Fatin tukar bilik, die pegi ke bilik kwn baik die, dan tempat kosong tu diganti kwn baik ela~eda..yg bestnye, ela, eda, ngan dayah tige2 bdk kelantan..hmph..aku pon kene lar dgr betol2 ape yg diorang ckp. kalo x, sokmo xpaham...

Modul Kenegaraan best, cuma masa2 tertentu agak m`bosankan..kumpulan aku 21 orang laki pompuan...seronok aktivitinya, bina negara sendiri, jadi menteri, ade sekali aku kene bagi ucapan sebagai menteri besar pahang, haha, kalah Adnan Yaakob..jaln2 tutup mata(aku nih jipang gile jadi tukang bawak~sbb malaslar nak tutup2 mata nih) tapi yg paling best waktu pilihanraya olok2~ada parti, calon bertanding, kempen pilihanraya, hari mengundi..
aku jadi kerani SPR~suruhanjaya pilihanraya..duduk jer bermalas2an..jadi waktu hari mengundi panggil nama orang,mintak kad pengenalan, lepastu hantar pegi mengundi~kelakar, yg jadi buta ade, yg bekerusi roda ade, yg x daftar nama pon ade~haa, budak2 yg nama x de dlm senarai nih sbnarnye mangsa jurulatih, nama diorang diliquid,jd kitorang kerani tepakse halau diorang kluar dr tempat mengundi~ape lagi diorang mengamoklar..~adeke nak rasuah kitorang(kerani SPR) supaya dapat undi, depan ketua SPR pulak tuh...hehe...maaflah bang....

Modul Pembinaan Karakter pon best, terlalu bnyk pengajaran yg aku dpt, belajar kelemahan diri sdr, menghormati org lain, berterus terang, jujur pd diri..banyaklar, dalam tempoh 2 minggu tuh~ahli kump 9 org~mat pet, k-rol,yusri,nik, ah chong, nina, azizah, wawa...terlalu byk kenangan bersame diorang~buat kpl terbang, main turunkan rod..terase betape utuhnye sebuah perpaduan walopon sekejap jer..saat paling best, berlakon drama pendek, mat pet jd anak bekas penagih yg dipinggir oleh kwn2~mat pet mmg pandai berlakon!!

Modul Khidmat Komuniti~hari2 keluar mkn angin sambil buat keje berat..bersihkn pantai, surau, sekolah, tadika, tandas, klinik, hospital..tapi mmg mengajar aku bahawe kehidupan nih terlalu luas xmungkin dapat aku paham sgl2nye..mcm2 ragam manusia boleh jumpe..masuk felda~aku xpenah msk felda~lahir dan dibesar kat bandar, dan kampung nenek aku pon dah maju mase aku lahir, jd aku x tau makne kampung dan kemiskinan yg sebenar~malah aku x tau pon kt felda x de sistem pembuangan sampah yg cekap macam kat ipoh ade dbi kutip sampah, kt felda diorang campak blkang rumah jer atau ditanam atau dibakar..ini 1 kejutan buat aku sbb aku x penah ambik peduli dan x pnah nak pikir pon..hmph, terasa dungu siket..aku simpati dgn penduduk2 yg miskin, br aku tau slame nih hidup aku telalu mewah dan btp siketnye aku bersyukor atas sgl nikmat yg Tuhan bagi..Ya Allah, adekah ruang utk aku baiki diri ini??

aku nak crite ttg sahabat.aku~eza~lisa kwn baik mase di kem dan disambung pulak ke kuktem, malangnye kami semue bukan saje x dpt sebilik malah lisa tecampak ke blok sebelh, aku ngan eza 1 blok, lain floor..pulaktuh lisa ke modul pembinaan karakter sdgkn aku ngan eza ke modul kenegaraan dulu..jadik mmg pyh siket nak bekumpul same2 melainkan ujung minggu..tp kitorang slalunye masih pegi mkn same2 waktu ptg, lepas riadah ,tp ade satu hari nih nk pegi mkn lisa lmbt turun aku hampir2 nak ajak eza spy tinggalkan lisa dan pegi 2 org, tp eza dgn besunggoh2 suroh tngg lisa..aku tergamam sekejap...peristia nih nmpk mcm remeh dan kecik je..tp dah menampar ke muke aku btp x setianye aku pd seorg sahabat..br aku teringat selama nih aku sll lupekan kwn bile lame x berjumpe atau bile dah dpt kwn baru..Ya Allah, teroknye aku selama nih, lepas tuh aku berazam pd dr nak setia pd smue sahabat aku x kire br kawan atau dah lame x jumpe..kepada eza~terime kaseh kerana mengajar aku erti sebuah persahabatan yang sejati..kepada lisa~maafkan aku krn hampir mengkhianatimu..

spjg di kuktem kami ade bnyk aktiviti mencungkil bakat pd sebelah malam~pidato, bahas, teater,dikir barat, koir..dan aku dipilh mwakili floor dlm bahas, dan disuruh join teater dan dikir barat..hmph, yg aku nak fokus di sini ialah ttg bahas~aku bukan pembahas sekolah, tp aku mmg suke bercakap dan bagi pendapat..ikut jadual, setiap pasukan akn lwn 2 kali dan lepastuh 4 terbaik laki dan pompuan dipilih utk lwn final..aku tepilih atr 4 org tuh..dan lepas tuh tepilih sbg 3 yg akn bcakap masa mlm final..lagi 2 org shbt tuh ialah wakil bahas sekolah msg2..jadinye, diorang mmg pakar dan aku sorg jer xtau ape2..tp diorg tlh mengajar aku dgn bersunggoh2 bkn sbb kitorg nak menang sgt, tp krn msg2 menghargai shbt..aku cukop terharu dgn keprihatinan diorang,,klau diikutkan, bkn ade hadiah yg grand lagipon cume pertandigan atr floor, x setanding dgn pencapaian diorang yg dah sampai peringkat kebangsaan..buat apelar nak ajr aku sunggoh2 pon, tp diorang mmg sahabat yg best, sts menolong aku smpai mlm pertandingan pon diorang tunjukkan ape yg aku ptt cakap, dan bile patot berenti bercakap..dan akhirnye kami telah menewaskan pasukan lelaki yg x bersedia dan x bersatu-padu...kepada syuhadah(x shah pekan) dan nisah(smka temerloh) korang adalh contoh shbt yg benar2 sahabat....trime kaseh je yg mampu aku balas....

selain tuh pasukan aku jgk menang teater~kisah seorang ibu yg sakit jantung kematian suami dan ade 2org anak pompuan~sorg baik giler seorg lg jht giler smpai hisap dadah akhirnye mak die mati sakit jantung waktu tgh marah ank die yg akhirnye dtangkap polis~ simple dan stereotaip kan???tapi sgt best~aku berlakon jadik.....mak yg mati tuh...=>

kalu nak crite pasal PKN nih mmg xkan habis,pjg lagi...ade sekali aku menangis kene marah dgn kakak dobi, ade sekali terpeleot dpn bdk laki, ade sekali tgn eza dihempap batu penutup longkang...terlalu bnyk...mungkin lain kali aku akn selitkan dlm crite2 yg lain pulak..tp yg penting sekali aku nak sampaikan kat sini, walaupon bnyk crite2 burok pasal PKN kluar dlm akhbar, hakikatnye ia adalah program yang sgt baik dan memberi kesan yg sgt bermakna, cume care individu itu sdr melihatnye yang menentukan adakah PKN ini berkesan atau tidak pada dirinye..pade aku, PKN titik aku menyelami diri aku yang sebenar dan tempat menilai kejujuran dan kesetiaan sebuah persahabatan.....

Dapur seorang budak perempuan

2004-06-23T18:11:00.000+08:00

Hmph,sempena cuti lame berbulan2 sebelum mule belajar nih aku manfaatkan dgn belajar masak kat dapur rumah.crite pasal memasak nih sgt istimewa,terlalu bnyk ramuan dan rempah ratus kadang2 secare x sedar aku tgh bercakap dgn serai rupe2nye..maklomlar,kene masak sorang2 kat rumah semenjak kakak dah balik ke uia..ibu keje kat pejabat..
1 hari..
aku nak masak taucu ni, ikut resepi mmg senang..campak jerlar taucu dgn cuka..
sebelum nih aku dah penah masak taucu,emph boleh tahan jugak kate adek aku..aku tepikir, taucu nih tekenal krn kemasamannye, jadi apekate aku tambah lebeh siket cuka, lagi masam lagi sedap..jadi aku pon buat ikut rancangan, bile dah hampir siap, aku pon test rase, pergh!! masam habis!! rase2nye aku letak cuka lebeh siket jer, mcm mane bole masam sgt nih??ini bkn taucu, ini taucam!!teringat pesan ibu, aku pon cover dgn gula, naseb baik boleh dibaiki,kalau x siape nak makan taucu masam tuh??
yang pentingnye kat sini bkn aku nak crite sgt pasal taucu, tp pasal cuka dan kesannye..korang bole nampak skrg aku tertuang cuka lebeh siket jer tapi btp besar kesannye??sepatutnye kemasaman itu adalah kekuatan bagi taucu tp akibat terlalu bnyk ia jadi 1 kelemahan pulak..macam tuh jugak hidup kite, kadang2 kite terlalu bangga dan mengagung2kan kelebihan kite, tapi hakikatnye kesederhanaan adalah yang terbaik, maksudnye kat sini kite perlu bersyukur dgn segala yg ade pade kite, x perlu dengki atau kecewa tgk kelebihan org lain, mungkin itu boleh membawa kemudaratan kpd kite,yg penting adalah semangat utk memajukan diri, bukannye memiliki kelebihan yang luar biase..
1 hari
yang lain pulak, aku nak msk sambal tumis udang, dlm rumah aku, aku dgn adek aku sorg lagi je yg suke mkn pedas, yg lain sume x suke, oleh krn aku yg masak, aku pon curah bnyk cili giling, bile dah siap, bapaklar pedassss!!! hehe, kesimpulannye, hormati kehendak org lain, jgn pentingkan diri sdr, dan....berhati2 di dapur ibu anda, jgn buat sesuke hati, meletup karang sape yang susah????

PKN~Kenangan Amat Berharga

2004-06-23T08:15:00.000+08:00

Kat sini nak crite serbasiket pasal pkn.drpd 400000 calon lahir taun1986,85000 jer yang terpilih,itupon 60000 jer yang datang..so,kpd mereka2 yg x pergi, sure nak tau ape yg kitorg lalui lebeh kurg 3 bln kat kem dan ipta..
mule2 dekat kem,aku nye kat kem summerset kuala rompin,phg..mule2 mmg tensyen giler, hati pon nak tak nak je datang, so mmg susah nk trime hakikat kene teperap kt kem nih sebulan..kemah tu kecik je,1 kem 10 org,tp kem aku 7 org jer..nak crite btp dasyatnye,kem kitorg kt tepi pantai, slalular b`gelumang dgn pasir, kalo blk kemah, hooh,b`keladak kemah tuh dgn pasir,korg bole bygknlar hidup kitorg sbulan dlm kemah bepasir tuh, ade kemah lain x kasi pakai kasut masok dlm kemah, tp kitorg x sanggup, korg igt lantai die marmar ker??lantai die simen yg kapur die asyek m`gelupas..putih jer tapak kaki..dahlar kitorg 1 kemah sume malas nak menyimbah lantai dgn air waktu ujung minggu macam kemah lain buat,so mmg bdebular..bak kate eza(kwn sekemah)kalo simbah air pon nanti bpasir balik..so,kitorg duduk sebulan kat kem xpenah cuci lantai ngan air..sapu jer ngan penyapu kasar..tuhpon penyapu tuh lisa(kwn sekemah gak) patahkan,jadik kitorg sapu ngan penyapu kontot jer,kene syer ngan kemah lain laktuh..crite pasal penyapu nih mmg best, oleh krn kene syer, maka ade kemah2 tetentu sembuniykkn penyapu,xnak kasik kemah lain pinjam,takot nnt x dapat balik dah..MasyaAllah,masalahnye penyapu tu bkn 1 kemah 1,mmg kene syer, so x payahlar sembunyik2 utk kepentingan diri sdr..kwn2 sekemah aku pon ade yg nak sembunyikkan penyapu kontot tuh,tp aku nasihatlar diorg, harte tu harte bersame,x baik pentingkn diri sdr, lagipon kitorg boleh ambik balik penyapu tuh bile2 jer=>
hmm...nak tambah kedasyatannye, kalo hari hujan lebat,kitorg mmg tepakse sidai baju dlm kemah..korg paham2 jerlar bdk pompuan, nak x nak kene sidai baju gak..pastu mulelah, bau...peh,dasyat giler, nak mati rasenyer kalo pintu kemah x bukak..hujan plak blarutan smpai seminggu lebeh..so, dgn pertolongan Allah dan daya pemikiran yg mantap, aku ngan lisa pegi mintak tali kat bilik p`tadbiran, kitorang gantung kt kemah kosong, pastuh sidai baju kat situ(dgn budak2 sekemah yg lain)..yelar,nak hidup kene pandai2 cari ikhtiar...tengok2,esoknyer,bnyk kemah kosong lain pon da dpenuhi baju2 berampai gak..hmph,terase bangge sbb dpt asaskan sesuatu yg bawak manfaat kt smue org..agaknye mcmnih jugaklar perasaan pengasas2 berjaye mcm addison,curie,beird,ibnu sina,alkawarizmi..
kalo korg nak tau,kitorg x wajib solat jemaah,yelah mmg solat jemaah tuh hukumnyepon sunat, so mmg surau yg disediakn kosong time waktu solat..aku,lisa ngan eza sll gak mengintai2 muke2 yg rajin solat jemaah(lelaki lar) hmph, x sampai 20 org drpd beratus2 bdk lelaki melayu-islam..macam mane ek??kalo tv kat dm tuh dpasang beduyun2 bdak2 nih dok melepek tgk tv berjam2 tp nak solat jemaah lgsg xlarat..hmph, korg temasok dlm golongan yg mane??kitorg sekemah-aku,lisa,eza,fani, solat jemaah subuh,maghrib ngan isya` je kat surau..zohor ngan asar kitorg solat same2 kat kemah..letak kotak bnyk2 pastu solat same2..ade jgk membe2 kemah lain yg gigih solat 5 waktu kt surau,tp aku rase aku x mampu lar..sbb tghr panas,bepeluh,bepasir,br lepas aktvt, susahnyelar nak pegi surau..mmg respeklar dkt bdk2 yg snggup pegi solat kat surau..
hmph,aktvt hari2..
kawad(yg aku x reti lgsg), tts-tempur tanpe senjate, kayak, kembare bhalangan, dgr ceramah kesihatan, main ptg2, bace peta, pagi2 bute pkl 6.30 ade senaman pagi lepas nyanyi lg negaraku nagn lagu khidmat negara ..pakai baju celoreng yg nampak penoh bergaye mcm tentere..cam xcaye jer aku penah pakai baju seumpama itu..huhu..
aku nak crite pglmn yg mengerikan kat sini, tapak kemah kitorg tuh bekas hutan,tepi laut pulak tuh jadik mmg ade bende2 halus walopon aku sdr x penah jumpe..ade 1 kakak yg jage kitorg nih die ngan kwn2 die pegi mandi kat laut, lepastuh pegi scuba pulak kat dlm kolah kem..so, mengikut crite dan khabar angin ade makluk halus marah sama diorg sbb mencemarkan kawasan diorg..kitorg mmg x dbenarkan mandi kat laut apatah lagi scuba dlm kolah..mmg 1 kesalahan besar..jadiknyer, mlm tuh kakak2 nih dikacau ,menjerit2 histeria, lepastu ade pulak sorg budak pompuan nih,peserta pkn, pegi gatal tengok kakak2 tuh, habis dgn die sekali kene..kate org, die lemah semangat..ntahlar...yg aku tau aku mmglar x sedar pape, sbb aku tido smpai bdk kemah kejot suroh bace Yassin..bgn2 tido dgr suare org menjerit2..tgh2 mkm bute...
1 lagi pglmn yg sbnarnye lebeh ngeri drpd histeria ialh pencerobohan ke kaw.pompuan dgn niat x baik, masalahnye yg menceroboh bkn bdk laki peserta pkn..tp...xtaular..bnyk sgt khabar2 angin xtaular bole pecaye ke tak...mmg menakutkan sbb penceroboh tuh sng2 jer msk-kemah kitorg dibuat drpd kain kemahlar,bknnyer bangunan pon tapi mmg kemah sekemah-kemahnye!so, boleh dsingkap drpd mane2 bahgian pon..dgr crite penceroboh tuh ganas giler smpai cuba cabul peserta..MasyaAllah, kenape lar ade manusia mcm nih, program dibuat dgn niat baik, ade jer yg cuba buat onar..jadi, lepas hari tuh kawaln diketatkan, peserta yg sentry ditambah drpd 2 org kpd 4 org..lepastu, xder dah kjdian mcm tuh berlaku..
ade sorg coach nih, kami pnggl pti-physical training instructor,ajar kawad,senaman, mcm2lar..die nih lar coach yg hensem-mude-x kawin lagi-tough pulak tuh,jadik ramailar pompuan tangkap leleh same die..hehe..temasoklar lisa..ade soramg budak cine nih ngan kawan die, kitorg panggil original tesangatlat minat same pti smpai 1 kem tau,klakrnye bole cakap saye rindu, saye cinte depan smue org..haha..tp yg pentingnyer kat sini ialah keberanian die utk berterus terang, walopon hakikatnye die hanye begurau tp aku kire itu adalah gurauan yg sgt berani, bukan smue bdk brani mcm tuh, jadi aku pon ambik iktibar bahwe aku nih pon x seberani die,bknlar maksodnye nak menjadi berani dlm mengaku rase cinte, tp berani berterus terang, hmph....
dah pamjang sgt nih,walopon hakikatnye crite pasal pkn nih maseh pjg lg...okeh, sambung next posting....huwarghhhh!!!!

finding real me

2004-06-22T09:51:00.000+08:00

hmph..i feel like a lost child stranded in a hectic life not knowing what to do,so i punch these words to show that i want something from my life..truth is, i dont know just what i suppose to do with my life,at least for now..there is a big hollow down in my heart, it`s hurting my soul and my conscience crying..isn`t there anything such as soulache or happy_life panadol??the fact, i know i am drifting in false promises world had offered, but i can`t go out, ok!!it`s deluge,engulfed me with pleasure and luxuries..what`s wrong with me??i got family,wealth,friends,shelter,adequate(sometimes toooo much)food, but not a perfect soul??i`m not happy??what`s the exact definition for happy afterall?? to be beautiful, to be brave, to be acclaimed, to be revered, or to be our own self??i`ll keep searching....